Our cars have become roof top storage areas

Over the weekend I shared a plate of Foster’s Smokehouse beef brisket with my family. The kids and the wife gave it a big thumbs up which was encouraging.

The best thing is I did not tell them it was from my soon to open restaurant. I simply said I bought this brisket and I wanted to know what they thought. B knocked his down as did my wife Abs. Celine did not participate because she does not eat much meat. I will admit the brisket was delicious as was the shrimp and perch.

The cooks did a sample cook late last week and I was honest with them. They needed to tweak the fish and chips, baked beans and greens. Those items were OK, but that is not good enough. I am getting excited about getting into the restaurant business. I am also super nervous. It is one thing to cook good food in a test kitchen. It is another to do it day in and day out and serve in huge quantities.

The great thing is the cook told me the brisket will taste better. It wasn’t even prepared in the 500 pound smoker the restaurant group purchased a few weeks ago. The smoker is huge. You could almost live in it.

The restaurant will probably open next month in Fraser on the corner of 14 Mile Road and Utica. We are awaiting word on the liquor license. When that is official we will open in the next two to three weeks. We might even get a decision this week. I have exciting news to announce about the restaurant. But you must return Tuesday morning to read all about it.

(Follow me on twitter at TerryFoster971. My next book signing is Tuesday (7:0

Today is a big day for soccer player Celine. She is playing in her first soccer game where there may be bad blood boiling even before the game begins.

She plays for Waza East and her team plays rival Vardar in the quarterfinals of the State Cup in Saginaw. There is a rivalry between the two clubs but we have yet to witness it since this is the first time they’ve played since Celine joined the team this season. More fuel was added to the fire when four girls left Vardar to play with Celine and her pal Sami who left the Force.

Rivalry games are just different. There is more intensity. There seems to be more at stake and this is a huge game. The winner advances to the semifinals in East Lansing. Loser goes home.

I’ve tried to explain to Celine that rival games are more intense. She has to be more engaged at the beginning of the game and she has to beware of her surroundings at all times.  She sort of listens but does not really get it. I guess you never know about a rival until you actually play them.

I always wonder if out of state football players that play for Michigan or Michigan State are caught off guard the first time they play in that game. Players always say the hitting is a little harder. There is more barking and more intensity. It is the same for Michigan-Ohio State, Central Michigan-Western Michigan and other rival games.

I know Vardar is a great club. My son B plays for the Force and they beat just about everybody but Vardar.  They got stomped by Vardar in the finals of the Novi Jaguars tournament a

I am hoping for a good game and want to see everybody walk off the field in good spirits and in one piece.

We won our battle my friends. The people have spoken. Believe it or not many of your comments on my blog and on my twitter handle TerryFoster97 swayed the people running Foster’s Smokehouse in Fraser to put more craft beer on draft.

That is exciting news and I want to thank you for your support. I wrote a few weeks ago that our beer distributor did not believe craft beer would sell well in Fraser. He was treating Macomb County like it was filled with country bumpkins. He recommended only one or two craft beers. I wanted six of the 13 wells to have craft beer.

We reached a compromise. We will have four craft beers and are deciding which ones to carry. I know one will be from Frankenmuth. We are deciding on the others. Thank you. We are scheduled to open in early June and the Smokehouse is located on 14 Mile Road and Utica in Fraser.

**  Thank you to the good folks at Buffalo Wild Wings for setting up a book tour for my book 100 Things Tiger Fans Should Know and Do Before They Die. I love The Buffalo and we are in negotiations for another project that you will not believe. I cannot tell you about it now but if it happens you are going to say “No way Bro.”

They’ve been kind enough to invite me and Little B to some of the grand openings for Bagger Dave’s and make B feel like a big shot.

Any way here is the book tour schedule. I hope to see you to talk Tigers and Wings and sell a few books. Just to let you know I am not pocketing all the money. I am going to give some of the money to whatever charity my wife is running in the fall. The last time they bought back packs for inner city schools that could not afford them. The books are $15 each or two for $25.

If you are out of town and want a copy of the book then write me at Terry Foster, 25455 American Drive, Southfield, Mi. 48034. I will sign books and return.

Here is my schedule Buffalo Wild Wings schedule

May 21: Warren Buffalo Wild Wings (7:05 pm).

May 27: Ferndale Buffalo Wild Wings (7 pm)

June 5: Detroit Buffalo Wild Wings ( 7 pm)

June 10: Sterling Heights Buffalo Wild Wings (7 pm)

Nov. 19: Novi Buffalo Wild Wings (7 pm)

Here are other upcoming book signings

May 18: The Tilted Kilt Novi

May 24: 3 Nicks Taproom, Southgate

May 25: RUB Barbeque, Detroit

May 30: The Oak, Wyandotte

June 6: Troy Barnes and Nobles

Foster’s Smokehouse, BBQ, Pizza and Sports Bar in Fraser is ready to open next week. But it won’t and do you agree with the decision?

Here is the skinny. We’ve applied for a liquor license with the state of Michigan and it appears as if it won’t be approved for another three weeks. So here is the call we made. The restaurant won’t open until the liquor license has been approved or is within days of being official.

We spoke with consultants who said if we open without a liquor license that most customers would be OK with it. They understand that things take time and that the main reason they would come in the first place is to try the food, which we hope wows them.  That will want to make people come back along with good service and watching me clown around the place.

However, if people come back a second time and there is no booze then many will assume we just won’t have booze. It becomes a turn off and they are less likely to return. Do you agree with that?

What we decided to do is wait until the license is ready to go. Good decision? Bad decision?

Oh by the way here is a sneak peak at the Foster logo. How do you like it?

The main selling part for Foster’s is it is a family restaurant where everybody can come and enjoy the food. We hope you love our bar-be-que dishes, pizza and they snuck in a fried cat fish dish on me that I have not tried. My fingers are crossed on that one. However, it will also be a sports bar where you can enjoy games on big screen televisions. There will also be a Golden Tee, darts and other games.

The place will not turn into a night club afterwards. I did not want to deal with the headaches that come with that.

So stay tuned. The restaurant will open. We want to be patient and do it right. Do you agree with the decision?

Let me be the first to admit that men are not perfect. We deserved to get yelled at when we trash the house, stay out too late and leave our underwear in the middle of the floor.

It is not fair when we get yelled at by our wives for something they did. But it happened Tuesday night when my wife Abs fumbled a salad she’d been looking forward to eating all evening.

Here is the skinny. Abs was at a meeting and they catered a meal from Mezza. We are both into Middle Eastern food because it is healthy and delicious. She got a nice salad with grilled chicken on top and a pita roll. She tasted a little at the meeting and it was so good she wanted to savor the rest for home. But on the way home she got some ice cream from McDonalds.

I almost get killed three to four times a day.

That is the number of times I approach a round a bout on my way to and from work. Those are the intersections where a combination of good drivers, bad drivers, blind drivers and old drivers are supposed to navigate and not turn it into a game of demolition derby. They scare the hell out of me.

They are designed to replace traffic lights and promote traffic flow. Some people know how to use them. Other people do not. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve nearly been broadsided by the person who does not look to his left and pulls into the round a bout.  I hate them. They are supposed to be safer so why do I feel as if I am taking my life in my hands when I approach.

I feel safer driving a Smart Car in a NASCAR race. At least death would be swift and relatively painless.

Here is what’s supposed to happen when you drive to a round about and here is what usually happens.

Celine swears our rent a car is haunted or stolen

BALTIMORE — My daughter Celine screamed from the back of the car.

“Dad this car is haunted. I swear it is,” she said. “Or at the very least this is a stolen car.”

The disappearing car rental from Avis was one of the goofy happenings that got the family vacation to Baltimore, Washington D.C. and New York off to a slow start because airports sometimes can be a bear to navigate. It took my wife Abs a half hour to get through security at Metro Airport — and that was after she went through the security gates. And it took us an hour to finally get rolling in our rental car once we landed at Baltimore-Washington Airport simply because stuff happens.

Traveling with kids is tough enough. When you add airport hassles I understand why people simply say forget it and just drive to their destination.

WASHINGTON DC — We stood on the corner of F and 10th streets downtown, not too far from the Verizon Center.  My daughter Celine collects snow globes and wanted to find one from Washington D.C. She has globes  from Baltimore, Cleveland, Cincinnati, Detroit and Orlando.  My job is to find one every time I leave town. Now we were in search of one from D.C.

I knew there was a place called Honest Abe’s nearby. I just didn’t know exactly where and my gang was tired of walking after hitting two Smithsonian Museums that day. I stopped a guy wearing  a striped shirt and tie and asked him for directions. He was friendly and very accommodating. We were near the store and he gave us a gentle nudge in the right direction.

He noticed I was wearing a Baltimore Orioles T-shirt and made a comment. I told him I wore the shirt only because I thought it was cool looking. I was not representing the B, I was from Detroit.

He began laughing and tapped me on the shoulders.

“Well we got a problem,” he said laughing. “And to think I just gave you directions. I am a Cleveland Indians fan and you guys stand in the way of us being in first place.”

NEW YORK — The Liberty City ferry drops us off about four blocks from what was formerly called Ground Zero. I refuse to call it that any more because 70 stories of steel and concrete now raises from the ground where the World Trade Center twin towers once stood.

The 1,776 foot Freedom Tower is under construction and I got a mixed emotions when I saw it on our way to enjoy the play Mary Poppins on Broadway. I am always sad when I go by the sight. I cannot help but remember the hundreds of people that lost their lives during the terrorist attacks during 9-11 and the troops that died in wars in the Middle East. How dare they do this to us.

But I also felt good seeing that tower rise. It shows that you can punch this country in its stomach. We might cry. We might suffer. But we rise. This tower represents greed and waste to many who do not like us. In the end this new tower will cost $3.1 billion, have 2.6 million square feet of office space and have retail and restaurants in all price ranges.  In all there is $22 billion in construction going on in lower Manhattan.

NEW YORK — On my final day here I found a moment of solitude to sit on a park bench to reflect on the annual family vacation to Washington DC and New York City.

In front of me stood the Statue of Liberty and to my left the tall buildings of New York’s financial district, which included the shell of the Freedom Tower which stands 70 stories high now. It was a peaceful setting and I enjoyed my 15 minutes alone.

A giant blimp hovered overhead, a reminder of the Fourth of July celebrations that lie on the horizon. There are festivals, celebrations and remembrances that stretch from Harlem to to Liberty Island. Thousands will line the shores and streets of New Jersey and New York for Monday’s spectacular fireworks display. I wish I could hang around two more days to see it but it is time to return home. Besides, we will enjoy Sunday night fireworks at Greenfield Village.

This weekend is a time for peace, laughter and spending time with friends and family. But there are reminders that evil lurks in the background and wants to ruin this celebration of independence for us. I saw it on the path train, the underground system that takes you from Manhattan to New Jersey.

Let me tell you about my backwards Tiger Woods moment.

I was in a bar talking to friends when a woman approached. She was in her mid 40s, well dressed and you could tell she had a little cash. She was not pretty but had a sexy look about her.

“Can I talked to you when you are done with your friends,?” she asked.

“Sure. No problem,” I said.

People want to talk to me all the time until they actually discover I am quite boring. But I got the newspaper and radio thing going and I like talking to people. So I get approached by men and women all the time. They mostly want to talk sports or about Celine or Little B. But this time it was different.

About 15 minutes later I was wrapping things up with my friends when she approached again.

“Got a minute,?” she asked.

“Sure,” I said. “What’s up?”

“Do you know what we have in common,” she said. “We both are married and we want to (blank) each other.”

She smiled.

My jaw hit the floor.

It would be tough to live without my girl Celine

Let’s skip all legal mumbo jumbo. Casey Anthony killed her daughter Caylee and got off Scott free. She will be a free woman to do as she pleases and as a parent it sickens me.

But I understand why the jury found her not guilty. The prosecution did not prove without a reasonable doubt that Anthony killed her daughter. I admit that I base my suspicions of guilt solely on the emotions of being a parent who loves his children more than anything else.

How can you go 31 days without telling authorities that your child is missing? How many of you could do that? How many of you would do that?

Let me tell you the real life story about my daughter Celine. Last year she was reported missing by one of the soccer parents on our team. Celine was supposed to go home to her friend Sami’s and I was going to pick her up at Sami’s house after work.

Practice was normal. But afterwards Celine did not trot off the field with Sami. She disappeared completely. Sami’s mother called me and told me Celine vanished while I was on radio. All of the air in my body was sucked out. I had a panic attack and immediately left and rushed to my car.

My breathing was short and raspy. I thought my heart was going to explode out of my chest. I was in tears.

Fifteen minutes later I found out what happened. There was a last-minute arrangement between my mother and wife for grandma to pick up Celine. That message was not relayed to me or the other parent. I could finally breathe. It was the worst 15 minutes of my life.

There is no way I could go back to normal life until my daughter was found safe and sound. You would not see me in a bar other than to pass out fliers of Celine’s picture. You would not see me acting normal because I would fear the worst.

Our children sometimes drive us crazy. We sometimes wonder if we are doing the right thing in raising them. But they are our flesh, blood and tears. They are our hearts. It is impossible for a normal loving parent to see their child missing and life goes on.

I know I couldn’t do it.

Should this woman have another child?

Ladies, I want to let you in on a little secret. We men are sexual predators. We think about sex. We act out sex sometimes inside our minds when we see you. And we measure you up wondering “could I get with that?”

OK. That is not that much of a secret. But I needed a way to transition into the discussion about Casey Anthony — the Tot mom who was found not guilty of first degree murder of her daughter Caylee. Some of my boys and I have had inappropriate comments about her and we should be ashamed.

But it is what men do.

Would you have sex with her?

The answer for most men was yes.

But would you fulfill her dream and help her have another baby? Even the worst of men are saying no. She should never have a child again. Even if she didn’t kill Caylee, she showed signs of child neglect, child abuse and child endangerment. However, she will become a mom again and one of my co-workers issued a bet with me saying she will have a child within five years. 

There are too many people like this

I just woke up in a cold sweat and with dry mouth. It is the first time a dream scared me in a long time.

I lost my job. No radio. No newspaper. Nothing.

I was left high and dry because of a tough economy and now I had to go home to tell the wife and kids that daddy will be spending more time at home and won’t be able to provide for them. We cut soccer. We cut out cable and we cut out eating out.

Thank goodness it was just a dream.

I am fortunate. I have not lost my job because of the economy. I’ve taken a hit on the salary at the newspaper but everybody has made some type of sacrifice during these tough times. At least I have steady income and life is good for me and the family.

I love writing for The Detroit News. I love fighting with Mike Valenti on the Valenti and Foster Show on 971 The Ticket. Who wouldn’t?

The menu at the Southfield Zoup’s featured nine different soups and seven salads on Monday evening. I swear the guy in front of me sampled every one of them.

He was “Let me hold the entire world up for me” guy. The annoying thing is the employees allowed him to do it. He was the first in line as he eyed every soup choice and asked for a sample. He not only tasted the soup in the tiny cups, but he savored and swished it around in his mouth as he flicked a $50 bill in his right hand.

“That was great,” he said. “Let me try the white bean chili.”

Meanwhile, the line grew. It went from two people behind him to eight.

This clown had the audacity to say: “I hope I am not holding people up” as he asked for another soup. Later he started talking about the movie “Ghost Busters.” 

I told him he was the only ghost in the restaurant.

He chuckled. I fumed. The lady besides me rolled her eyes.

There were two people behind the counter. I asked if I could order my soup. I knew what I wanted. The guy had not been rung up yet. But I was told by the guy behind the counter that he could not give me my soup. We had to wait for rude dude to finish his order.

I wonder what happened to the girl with no name. She was in my life for eight hours and then she disappeared.

I had returned to Saxe Hall on the campus of Central Michigan University on a late Saturday evening when I saw a young woman with brown hair and back pack sitting in front of the building. She was hitchhiking across the country and she wanted to see every state. I do not remember how she ended up in Mt. Pleasant. I am just glad she did.

And she needed a place to stay.

All of my roommates were gone that weekend. Jim was in Clarkston. Leonard was back in Beaverton and Warren was back home in Okemos. I told the girl with no name that she could stay with me.

We were both drunk and I could smell the beer on her breath as she drew close.

“Thank you,” she said. “I appreciate it.”

We went up to my room. She asked if she could take a shower and I said yes.

Leyland talking to reporters

Today I am the Tigers beat writer.

The Detroit News allows me to do that every now and then to give regular beat writers Tom Gage and Lynn Henning a day off. I enjoy doing it and the highlight of my visits to Comerica Park is talking with Tigers Manager Jim Leyland before games. Do you watch the beef jerky commercials “Messing with Sasquatch” where people mess with the legendary monster only to get stomped at the end? Well it is sort of like that with Leyland.

A group of writers ask questions and play a game of poke the dragon. Sometimes Leyland is cool. And sometimes he tees off. I think he likes me because he usually smiles when he gets uncomfortable about some questions. The funny thing is before the session is over we usually talk college football.

“Well look whose here,” he screamed last time I hit the dressing room.

Here is a dirty secret about Leyland. He is a Notre Dame fan who also loves to talk University of Michigan football.

Leyland loves to talk. He talks so much and spews out so much information that you never have to go into the dressing room to talk to players if you are a Tigers beat writer. He fills your note pad with issues inside and outside of baseball. And when he erupts all you do is turn your tape recorder on and listen. You never have to ask another question again.

Road rage is a leading cause of becoming a jerk

I created road rage and I am happy about it. The guy was a total jerk.

Here is what happened. The family drove my daughter Celine to soccer camp at Sauk Valley near Michigan International Speedway. After 20 seconds of tears from Celine the rest of the family headed west on M-12 for a quick trip to East Lansing to bring food to the in-laws.

M-12 is a two lane highway and I allowed myself about four to five car lengths while following a car going about 65 miles per hour. I was in no rush so I followed and did not try to pass. Then comes jerk boy from behind. He cruises up and wants to pass. I am cool with that. He jets the engines and passes me and makes a circular motion with his arm for me to speed up.

I cannot put into words how much I hate this man

So I am hanging out in Southgate, trying to figure out which Downriver beauty to add to my collection when my phone begins to blow up with texts. I ignored it. I had to get my swerve on after all.

Now should I get with butter face number one? Or should I get with butter face number two? You know the chick with the chipped front tooth is kind of turning me on.

Well, the texts would not stop. So I finally launched my twitter account this morning and I read all of your asinine comments about how I changed my mind about Chris Osgood. Then I heard about comments from my radio partner who has way too much time on his hands talking about how I flip flopped on whether Osgood should be in the Hockey Hall of Fame.

You guys clowned me. Mike Valenti of course clowned me because he is jealous and wants to be me. And who can blame him? I am handsome. He is not. I am a lady’s man. He is not. I am black and he wishes he was.

Ten is a special number for me. Four is a number for his special friend that he calls Bruno.

When I was growing up we made love to women. We did it in our songs and we did it in real life.

Now I am listening to the radio and I hear somebody singing: “Tonight I’m F ing you!! Wooooo! Ohhh! Ohh! Tonight I’m F ing you! yeeeeeeee!! Heeeeee!”

Now that is as raw as it gets. But I want to know whatever happened to love? Do we no longer make love as a society?

I am used to love songs like “When a man loves a woman.”

“Killing me softly with his love.” “I will always love you” and “Fly me to the moon.”

Now songs are asking us to pull out the chain saw, wrenches and a blender and F somebody tonight. Get that bitch and handle her. That is too raw for me.

 There were no males in my house while growing up. I was always taught to treat women with respect and to handle them with care. That carried over to my dating where I loved to do things with slow passion. I wanted to savor every moment and I wanted the woman to enjoy herself.

On Sunday I went to hell and back. And I took the kids with me.

My daughter Celine read about Hell, Michigan the other day and was dying to go there to see what it was like. The name tickled her and so I surprised the kids with a spur of the moment trip. It is not that far away(we got there in under and hour) and we’d finished our yard work so I thought it would be fun.

There isn’t really much to Hell so our visit was short. There is “Screams Ice Cream” , Hell Country Store and Spirits, The Dam Site Inn and a chapel in case you really want to go to hell by getting married. I am told that the food at the Dam Site Inn is delicious but we’d already eaten lunch by the time we went to Hell. You can also rent canoes.

We bought T-shirts and a snow globe to commemorate our trip. I was recognized by two people which caused my son Little B to quip: “They even know you in hell dad.” Hopefully that won’t be the case in my after life.

I was strolling the main drag in Royal Oak when I noticed a man and a woman sitting by the side of the road facing foot traffic. They claimed to be poor and homeless and held a tiny sign begging for money.

When you looked at their clothes they looked homeless. They both looked like life had given them a raw deal. I just wasn’t buying their story. I walked past and did not give them anything. There were signs of scam. There was the fresh and clean University of Michigan back pack and stacked suit cases. They looked more like a couple waiting for Delta Flight 484 than needing money.

I am a sucker for wanting to help people, but I am convinced that begging for money is a multi-million dollar industry for lazy people who don’t want to look for work. The people who suffer are the ones that really need help. They are folks that are injured, mentally challenged and legitimately have society’s foot pressing on their necks.

But you don’t know who is legit and who is running a scam. I have fallen for scams and give less and less.

Do you believe this guy?

One of the biggest scams is the guy in the parking lot who needs $5.85 for an auto part so he can fix his car. He gives and exact amount because it makes the story sound better and he knows you are going to give him a $10 or $20 bill and tell him to keep the change. This is the high roller beggar. He does not want pennies. He wants to get paid.

The food scam is a good one. The person says they want money for food. I offered to take a guy into a Burger King who was begging for food and get him whatever he wanted. He refused.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. Do you think he wanted that money for something else? Maybe drugs or booze?

My Friday lists of fives

FIVE THINGS TIGERS CATCHER VICTOR MARTINEZ SHOULD HAVE TOLD PITCHER BRAD PENNY

1. Hit the road jack and don’t come back no mo, no mo, no mo.

2. This is baseball, not softball.

3.  Obviously it wasn’t your pitching skills that landed such a fine woman.

4.  You do know the Angels can’t hit? Don’t you?

5.  You are no Justin Verlander. Heck, you are no Jeremy Bonderman.

MY FIVE FAVORITE CANDY BARS

1. Almond Joy

2.  Kit Kat

3. Snickers

4. Mounds

5. Giridelli dark chocolate and raspberry

FIVE REASONS TO WATCH THE LIONS THIS SEASON

1.  Matthew Stafford: Will he be closer to a Pro Bowl quarterback or closer to a  bust?

2. Ndamukong Suh: Now that he has the league’s attention, does the sophomore slump hit?

3.  The running game: Do they get thunder and lightening with Mikel LeShoure and Jahvid Best?

4. December: Are they playing meaningful games while we go Christmas shopping?

5. Calvin Johnson: Does the team finally learn how to use him?

FIVE REASONS WHY THE TIGERS CAN WIN THE AMERICAN LEAGUE CENTRAL TITLE

1. Miguel Cabrera can carry a team with his bat.

2. The Chicago White Sox appear to be throwing in the towel.

3. Justin Verlander assures there are no long losing streaks.

4. The rest of the division is terrible.

5. No more games against the top teams in the league

FIVE PLACES I LOVE DOWNTOWN

1. Eastern Market: I love Saturday’s there but I even pop in during the week for fresh meat.

2. Harry’s Detroit: Harry is a cool dude and the place has a cozy feel.

3. Avalon Bakery: The kids love the brownies and I enjoy the blueberry coffee cake.

4. Hygrade Deli: Take a trip on Michigan Avenue past the freeway for a great treat.

5.  Hart Plaza: This gives you a great view of Detroit and Canada.

Weaver is no dream in Detroit

Los Angeles Angels shortstop Erick Aybar is a villian here in Detroit. Former Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick could probably beat him in a run off election even  in the suburbs.

He broke one of the unwritten rules of baseball by bunting to break up a no-hitter. It is not the baseball thing to do but I understand why he did it. The Tigers 3-2 victory over the Angels was one of the best games of the season because it was filled with drama, bad sportsmanship and a dual between Cy Young candidates Justin Verlander and Jered Weaver.

This isn’t the popular thing to say here but I blame Tigers second baseman Carlos Guillen for nearly costing the Tigers the game and he was as much to blame for Verlander losing his no hitter as anybody. That includes Don Kelly for botching the run down that allowed Aybar to score.

You do not stand at the plate, flip the bat and stare down a pitcher and expect everything to be OK. You knew the next batter Alex Avila was going to pay. Weaver launched a fast ball over Avila’s head to send a message that he is not going to be punked out by the Tigers. I do not believe he wanted to hit Avila. He wanted to scare the heck out of him.

If I were Weaver I would have hit Avila in the ribs to send my message. If you miss with that high hard one you could kill Avila or end his career. But I do not blame Weaver for at least sending a message. I know I would have after Guillen’s antics.

If you followed me on twitter Tuesday you know I spent much of the day at the mall shopping for an outfit for a Saturday fundraiser.

I also like to people watch. And one of the galling sights was that of very young teenagers wearing what my kids call booty shorts. They are these teeny tiny pants that hug the booty and not much else. The young girls love to wear them I assume to attract boys. When I saw them I immediately turned into old man and dad.

My daughter Celine turns 12 in a month which means I am not that far away from fighting her with a possible  issue. It might not be the booty shorts in two or three years but it will be something else that will want me to toss rat poison down my throat. and die. My son Brandon claims kids in the sixth grade are wearing them.  My little policeman also said some boys wear them. I laughed. I then googled it and he was right.

What is this world coming to?

The Valenti and Foster show talks to Lions WR Calvin Johnson

ALLEN PARK — It was hot and sticky, but that is OK. Sweat poured down my face and into my eyes, temporarily blinding me. But I did not mind.

Lions training camp is back and all seems right with the world. The official, official end of the lock out occurred Thursday afternoon when all of the free agents and previously unsigned players trotted out in unison for Lions practice. The team is now 90 strong and working toward bringing respectable football back to Detroit.

I love football. I love the drama. I love the anticipation and I love the every week grind and story lines that play out during the season. That is why it was a joy to do the Valenti and Foster Show Thursday afternoon from Lions training camp with the fans. I would love if we visited more times this preseason.

The fans were excited and the players were excited. It’s time to get going.

I don’t know why this bothers me so much, but the flashing yellow light near my house is driving me nuts. Maybe it is not the light that causes my frustration as much as the dumb drives it creates.

There is a green flashing light that clears the way for drivers to make a left hand turn. Then it turns yellow and red for about two seconds. Then it turns into a flashing yellow which means you have the right to make the left hand turn when traffic clears. Do you know how many cars inch up when they see the flashing yellow and then they just stop?

They don’t know what to do. So these people  sit there even when traffic clears and wait for the light to go through the cycle again. I thought we were all supposed to take driver’s training before we got our license. Or at the very least do drivers not use common sense while driving?

This light confuses people so much that I’ve only seen a handful of people make the turn on yellow. The rest sit there and pick their noses.  You expect this from old people but I’ve seen drivers of all ages stall and get confused.

I tried blowing my horn a couple of times but nothing works. Now I don’t even want to waste my energy.

I might have saved my life this morning. Who knows?

My twice a week routine is to make the 40 minute drive from my home to visit trainer Melissa for our 5 am. workout in her Dearborn studio. I am usually semi-wake during the drive and I make sure I am alert by blasting satellite radio in my car. The music and talk is a nice companion.

It was different this morning. At 2 am this morning I was half sleep on my son Little B’s floor trying to keep the peace in the house. My daughter Celine was entertaining her friend Lauren during a sleep over and as often happens the small fry did not want to go to sleep. They were sneaking around at all hours of the night and I finally put a stop to it — or so I thought.

Brandon was sneaking out of his room into the girls’ room. So I acted as police officer and stood guard in his room.

When I woke up for my morning drive my body was shot. I am alert enough to peck out this blog but I know if I drive 40 minutes there and work out for an hour the drive back is going to be brutal. My body will shut down and I will be swerving in rush hour traffic.

So I am just saying no and shutting it down.

How much for Lions butter?

MACKINAW CITY — Fudge wasn’t the only thing selling briskly up here in this northern play land. Lions butter was selling briskly four and a half hours north of Detroit.

I can understand all the smiles outside Ford Field after the Lions 34-3 victory over the Cincinnati Bengals. The few fans that attended the game and jammed the casinos afterwards were at ground zero. They enjoyed a big weekend of Lions, Kid Rock and black jack. But the spread of joy was all over the state.

People wore their Lions gear here even in the rain and you heard talk of the Lions and Matthew Stafford and the gang all weekend. And it was just a preseason game. Folks are excited. They want to see this team win obviously, but I always hate to bring you the bad news. I will believe this until the day I die. Preseason games mean nothing.

There is an annual event that is becoming annoying. I love taking my family somewhere in the state of Michigan each summer. We do our big vacation and then we spend three day some place in the state.

We’ve gone to Grand Rapids, Traverse City a couple of times and most recently Mackinaw and Tahquamenon Falls. I love visiting places in my home state and next summer I hope to go to picture rocks in the UP. But here is the annoying thing. I always run into people who want to know how my summer is going.

I tell them and every time I mention visiting Michigan they say “What too cheap to go someplace else?”

It happened again the other day when I told this clown I took the kids to Tahquamenon Falls. The first thing out of his mouth was criticizing me for not taking the kids to Niagera Falls. And he jokingly asked if I were cheap.

What the hell is wrong with saying “Yes to Michigan.” And it is not like Tahquamenon Falls is a two foot drop. It is pretty impressive.

And I told this guy that I’ve been to Niagera Falls several times and I’ve seen water falls in Hawaii, Washington and California. Does this mean that every time I want to see a water spill into a river I have to be a real dad and pack the kids in the car and go out of state or hop in an airplane?

It makes no sense.

I like my state. I know it is struggling. And if I can help it a little bit by dropping my tourist dollars here then I am going to do it. We are taking Celine to Indiana for a soccer tournament this weekend and my wife wanted to go on the trip so she can school shop at an outlet mall in Indiana. I told her to stay home, that if she wants to hit outlet malls we got some nice ones in Birch Run and on the way to Lansing.

I’d rather keep the money in my home state. If that makes me cheap, then so be it.

This morning I left the house for my 5 o’clock workout with trainer Melissa and I felt a companion I have not experienced in a while. It was that morning chill and it sure felt good on the face. I stopped outside my house for a moment before getting in the car just to experience a little more of that chill.

It was the first sign that fall is not far behind. It also reminded me of football games in Ann Arbor and East Lansing. The calendar still says summer but for me fall has already begun. I am in football mode and my daughter Celine is in full soccer mode as she plays in her second tournament this weekend in Grand Rapids at the Grand Rapids Crew tournament.

Editors are breathing down my throat for football stories. My vacation has run out at the Detroit News and 971 The Ticket and I’ve been assigned to cover my first football game next week when Michigan State plays host to Youngstown State in a Friday night football opener for both teams.

This is my favorite time of year. It is also a busy time of year for most sports writers. We are fully engaged.

What will make the fall more fun this year is that hopefully the Tigers will make the playoffs and make the Detroit fan base even more electric. It looks like that is going to happen but I remain cautious simply because of the history of this team stalling down the stretch.

But even without the Tigers it is time to get busy. Football is in the air as is that delightful morning chill.

It sure did feel great.

I do not have a heart warming story to share with you about Lions beat writer Tom “Killer” Kowalski. Our relationship was not like that.  It was filled with jabs and one liners.

He made fun of Barack Obama. I made fun of Sarah Palin. He made fun of my radio show. I said his stunk. He made fun of my columns. I told him to stop making things up. Then we’d go out and have a beer.

We never hugged. We never said “you are my best pal.” We were like guys in the dressing room. It was rough. It was frank and our talks were always entertaining. But in time of crisis he’d make sure to say he was sorry and hoped I was doing well. I did the same to him.

The Killer is gone now and it doesn’t make much sense. He was just 51 and I always viewed him as a big and strong guy who’d be with us forever.

The Killer was a giant St. Bernard. He was playful and always had that flask of brandy tied around his neck.  He was also a giant in our business. Mike O’Hara of the Detroit News and Curt Sylvester of the Free Press were the authorities on the Lions for many years while Killer learned from them. Then he became the guy everybody read to find out what was going on.

How do you tell somebody they’ve got a drinking problem? If indeed they do have a drinking problem.

How do you tell a good guy that his daughter cries because she fears he is hurting himself because of alcohol?

One of my daughter’s best friends has cried to her at least twice over the last three months while talking about her dad and his drinking. He is not a mean spirited drunk. Usually he is in a great mood and makes sure everybody is having a great time. People laugh at his jokes and his singing. He is funny as hell and a great guy.

To be honest I would never think of saying anything to him because I know a few folks who like to tie one on and enjoy themselves. But does this make it different because his daughter is scared for her dad? Does that change things?

Is this a case of a daughter being too sensitive or is there a problem?

I am not his best friend. I am a fringe friend. Is it my place to say something?

My fear is if I do then that friendship will end. The daughters will no longer play with each other and there will be an unspoken tension every time we see each other. I am sure he does not believe he has a problem. And he might view me as some good two shoes getting inside of family business.

How would you handle something like this? You can post here, on my  face book or  twitter account at TerryFoster971.

I am a sports writer. My job is to write sports, talk sports and cover Detroit sports.

I sometimes wonder what goes through the minds of people who read me and listen to me on the radio. It is that time of year where some Lion fans make outlandish predictions and I have to do everything within my power not to laugh in their faces. Do they really believe what they say? They sure sound like it.

On Friday I was doing the Valenti and Foster Show by myself when a guy called and said if the Lions win their first six games, which he said was very possible, then they would go 16-0. Today a guy was a little more reasonable. He said the Lions would only go 7-1 through the first half of the season.

What do they base this on? Do you mean to tell me that some people are so gullible that they truly believe a team that went 6-10 last season and returns with no running game, a weak set of linebackers and suspect secondary is the best team in the NFL? You mean to tell me that they leapfrogged Green Bay, New England, Philadelphia, Atlanta and New Orleans in a single bound?

I love sports fans, but where is their prospective? Is being a sports fan simply believing all the time and blindly following a sports team no matter what? It seems like love for a team turns people goofy. Look, I love my daughter and believe she is a good soccer player, but I look at her schedule and see the teams she must play and I am hoping for .500.

I want her to win every game she plays but I know that won’t happen. I people love their Lions. But does sports love turn your brain to mush? Or do people really believe what they say?

My daughter Celine was still groggy after her team, the Bloomfield Hills Force beat the Michigan Gators 1-0 in their soccer game Friday afternoon.

She was going for a header between two players and the two girls missed the ball but both bopped Celine in the head and gave her a big time headache. One of the reasons I am up this morning is I’ve been checking on her to make sure she is OK during her sleep. It was a scary moment because Celine never leaves games, but this time she had to.

She said her head and chest hurt and she immediately wanted to go to sleep in the car. I did not allow her to. But after a couple hours we finally sent her to bed.

The reason for this post is to commemorate one of the girls on the opposing team. I was helping Celine across the street to the car afterwards when the girl popped out of her car and went over to shake Celine’s hand.

“Sorry number 9 about head butting you. Good game.” the girl said.

Celine told her it was OK and she was sorry that the girl got a black eye in the incident.

My daughter Celine turns 12 years old today.

Happy birthday baby. Where did the time go? This was a child I never thought would be born. Now she is one year from being a teenager. I still remember the little outfit I bought for her before her birth. I did not know if my first child was a boy or a girl but as soon as I got the news I dashed to Baby’s R us and bought a yellow outfit that would be appropriate for either sex. I was that thrilled.

I remember the day she was born. We read books that said you should play music and talk to your baby when she is in mother’s stomach. I spoke to her every night. I was in the delivery room the day she was born. She came out crying and I was allowed to wheel her back to the room. I told Celine welcome to the world and that daddy was here. She stopped crying and looked at me as if to say: “So that is the guy who has been talking to me all these weeks.”

Now she is a very bright A student who is a very good soccer player with a big mouth and bright ideas who speaks . I know I am already losing her because she does not like hanging out with daddy as much. It is something people warned me about but I still cherish every day with her.

My life is haunted. I am convinced it is.

For example, I lost my house keys the other day. I have no idea where they are. I thought I placed them in my car because I need them to get into my office at the radio station. But they are not in my car. They are not on the hook I put them on every time I come into the house.

They are gone. Vanished. They have been removed from the face of the Earth. And I’ve looked everywhere they could possibly be. But I am not worried. I know they will show up. They will be in some obvious place — like the end of my finger. They’ve been there all along but I just can’t see them now. I can actually hear my keys laughing at me.

Things disappear in my life. My license. My wallet. My keys. My photo identification. They grow legs and disappear. And guess what? They return to my life like the angry kid that runs away from home but changes his mind.

We survived Matt Millen and Randy Smith.

The Lions made its fans go through an 0-16 season and the Tigers threatened to match the worst record in Major League Baseball history. This town’s big cats have given their fans big time headaches and this town did not deserve it. Our economy is in the tank and too many of our people are looking for jobs.

Now it is time for this town to lose itself in the Lions and Tigers. Hopefully the big cats can come through and deliver. The Tigers already are. They clinched their first division title since 1987 and it looks like they will play either the Boston Red Sox or Tampa Bay Rays in the American League Division Series. It is a team we doubted right up until three critical moves landed it Wilson Betemit, Doug Fister and Delmon Young.  Now the Tigers are title contenders rather than a middle of the road team.

Tigers General Manager Dave Dombrowski made nice moves that could help the Tigers for years to come.

The Lions are showing so much hope. They are professional in the front office and talented on the field. It is still too early to annoint them anything but a team filled with potential. However, they made a nice step with a road win at Tampa and it has created a lot of excitement headed into today’s home opener against the Kansas City Chiefs.

General Manager Martin Mayhew has been a godsend compared to Millen.

The big cats cannot erase all of our problems. But they can make life a tad bit happier. They can make us laugh and cheer and share special moments with each other.

Let’s hope for much success for the Lions and Tigers. This fan base deserves it.

Tuesday was a perfect day.

Clear blue skies. Nice temperature and no wind. That is why I ignored my craving for Asian food and ate outdoors for lunch at Bravo’s in Livonia. And here is what I don’t understand. Why was I the only person to do so? Everybody else ate indoors.

I love eating outdoors but everything has to be perfect. It cannot be too hot. It cannot be too cold. It cannot be too wet and the bugs must leave me in peace. All of those factors fell into play and I really enjoyed my grill salmon. I know I won’t be outdoors today because thunder storms are headed our way.

I spoke to my waiter several times and he said he was stunned that more people were not outside. But I have a theory. Some people refuse to come outside after Labor Day. It does not matter how nice the day is. My wife Abs is one of those people. It could be 80 degrees in October but she claims there is a chill in the air and she won’t eat or hang out outside unless she is watching our kids play weekend soccer.

I don’t know what happened, but the Bad Boy came out in me Thursday night. That’s when I flattened a wheelchair basketball player during the DMC charity wheelchair game hosted by Lions defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh.

Did I apologize and feel badly about it? Nope. I smiled.

It wasn’t the most professional thing to do but I was in a mischievous mood. This young kid with lightening quick wheel skills was trying to drive the paint and I remembered the words of former Bad Boy Piston Rick Mahorn.

“Nobody drives the lane unpunished.”

So I nudged my wheelchair to the side, caught the tail end of his wheel to stop him and my man went sprawling.

Opps. My bad.

Sometimes I enjoy studying people. I was watching the final inning of the Tigers 14-0 victory Monday night over the Cleveland Indians and there was a lone woman who studied the game as if she were manager Jim Leyland.

It was obvious that the Tigers were going to win the game after breaking loose for eight runs in the eighth inning. But this woman seemed nervous. You’d have thought it was a 2-1 game with two outs and the bases loaded.

What was going through her mind? And why was she so nervous? She was not an attractive woman and my guess is Tigers baseball is all she had. She dressed in a large Miguel Cabrera T-shirt, had on sweat pants and some funky looking shoes. And I think she had a mustache. 

The Tigers seemed to be her life and she was a fan that lived and died on every pitch, even if the pitches didn’t mean much. When the final out was recorded she breathed a sigh of relief and clapped for the American League Central Division champions.

Most people were downing their final beers before the final out and were already talking about victory. She was nervous to the last pitch.

Are you like this as a fan? Is it never over til its over?

Here is why the Tigers will beat the New York Yankees in the first round of the American League playoffs.

** Justin Verlander can pitch two times in five games. That means 40 percent of the series will be pitched by the best pitcher in baseball.

** Doug Fister will pitch Game 2. That means 60 percent of Tiger games will be started by the best one-two punch in the American League.

** Manager Jim Leyland won’t be resting players.

** Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez is no longer on the juice. You don’t hear anybody talking about him breaking Barry Bonds’ all-time home run record any more.

** Miguel Cabrera, Victor Martinez and Jhonny Peralta is a modern murders row that can dominate and intimidate.

** You don’t have to start Phil Coke  or Brad Penny every fifth day.

** Alex Avila stud. Russell Martin is not.

** Even Peralta has better range than Derek Jeter.

Lions and Tiger fans will have a great time the next week. There are Tiger games at Comerica Park and the big Monday Night Football game with the Lions next Monday at Ford Field. Many will come downtown to attend the games. Thousands more will come downtown and not go to the game. Instead they will opt to watch games at establishments downtown.

Here are my favorite spots to watch Lions and Tiger games. Who knows. You might bump into me.

HARRY’S DETROIT: I love this place. The food is a step above bar quality. There is an outdoor deck on the second level and the downstairs gets jammed. For big events Harry opens the parking lot. Try the burgers and there is also a nice salmon for those trying to watch their figures.

BOOKIES:  Sometimes Bookies is out of my league. That is when the young kids show up and want to dance their butts off. Usually they are upstairs on the deck so I stay down below for a nice beer selection and their chicken salad sandwich.

THE WELL:  Nice looking women, which is important. And it has a strange but inviting deck sort of in front. It is heated so you can hang out there most of the year. It is just a friendly place with down home people.

NEMOS: Some of the best burgers around. But remember to go to the back to get them. This is a very simple, old school bar that lacks frills. But it remains one of the best places to go. It is near Tiger Stadium so you can play a quick game on the old field before enjoying a brew.

CHELIS CHILI BAR: The place is huge. Some folks struggle to get to the third level outdoor deck but it is worth the climb especially during fire works. Try the chili loaded. And don’t be surprised if the guy drinking next to you is Chris Chelios, Kid Rock or some old time Red Wing.

There were so many wonderful sights and sounds Monday Night as the Lions beat the Chicago Bears 24-13 to officially enter the room as a legitimate playoff and dare I say championship contender. The Lions and Green Bay Packers are the only two NFL teams with 5-0 records and it made everybody feel good.

The Lions last 5-0 start occurred in 1956. I was not even born yet. So now you see why people partied downtown, filled the bars and coney island shops afterwards. There were wall to wall smiles in Detroit.

But none topped the smile of the thin man outside Comerica Park. He dragged a large plastic bag filled with empty pop and beer cans. I estimate he had about 400 cans inside the bag which meant a hefty $40 pay day for him. You can tell he was hard on his luck. He probably is a drug user and his conversation sometimes made no sense as he screamed for joy.

What is the most important thing in life after religion, family and health?

It’s your cell phone of course. I know that because I lost mine either Tuesday night after Game 3 of the Tigers game or Wednesday morning. I think it is in the house. But it could also be in a downtown parking lot. I really don’t know. But what I do know is the cell phone cripples your life.

I have 400 contacts and I only know five numbers by heart. Friends both near and dear and on the fringe are gone. I do not know any body’s phone number because you program them into this computer/text machine/phone and slash life support system.

Now I see why people clutch cell phones as if life depends on it. In a way it does. In a cell phone we carry around our inner circle, work, schedules and everything else. These things contain our lives in them. And when we lose them there is a big hole.

I am not sure how much Tigers talk we will generate on Monday’s Valenti and Foster Show. I don’t know how angry, sad or glad people will be. I promise not to fall for the trap of trashing the team following Saturday’s 15-5 Game 6 loss that sent the Texas Rangers to the World Series and the Tigers home.

The Tigers gave us a very nice season and at the end were running on fumes, heart and duct tape. The Rangers were the better team and deserved all they got. The Tigers on the other hand gave it all they got. The Rangers every day line up and their bull pen was head and shoulders ahead of the Tigers.

They are also used to winning in the post season after clinching their second consecutive World Series berth.

Human nature causes people to bitch and complain when their favorite team loses. I won’t. I promise

** I was prouder of the Tigers in defeat than Michigan State in victory. Michigan State was the better team during its 28-14 victory over Michigan. The Spartans are bigger, faster, more talented and are no body’s little brother after a fourth straight victory.

But they sure play dumb and dirty at times. I understand it is a rivalry game and you want to stomp the Wolverines into the turf. I have no problem with that. But there were too many punches, neck twists, taunts, and illegal body smashes. I wasn’t sure if I were watching Big Ten football or Big Time wrestling.

** Yes, Denard Robinson was terrible against the Spartans. But coach Brady Hoke and his coaching staff did not do their players any favors with some of their bone-headed decisions. You do play action on fourth and inches? You get the ball in the final minutes with a chance to tie and you pass into the teeth of a blitz with a quarterback that could not pass to save his life?

It is not fashionable to criticize Hoke because he is Michigan’s new hotness.  I will simply say Hoke-a-mania has had better days.

** This time I did not get robbed. I did not win Dancing with our Local Stars Saturday night at the Townsend Hotel and I did not deserve to win. My opponents were better and I was off my game. I felt fine until the end where I made a mistake that proved costly. I wanted to kick myself.

The funny thing is I did not want to win for myself on Saturday. I wanted to win for my dance instructor Melissa Rollins who is trying to climb up the ladder with more established dance instructors. She is an amazing teacher and I feel that I failed her.

In my heart of hearts I deserved second or third in the first event.  I got robbed in that event. In this one I got what I deserved.

I am now officially retired.

We met for the first time at Caribou Coffee in Royal Oak.

I noticed she had long legs, a nice smile and a pony tail when she walked in. She sat near me and I struck up a conversation with a woman I’d later call Abs. She’d become my wife. On Monday Abs and I celebrated 13 years of marriage with a quiet dinner and bottle of wine in the family dining room.

Our kids Celine, 12, and Brandon, 9, were told to stay upstairs and read while we enjoyed a quiet moment and conversation. They didn’t even sneak down once.

From the Denver Post

Must we go through this every week with the Lions?

Must we hear panic after every loss and Super Bowl talk after every win? It is amazing how the tidal wave of fear turns into a sea of confidence after every win. A few days ago I heard how the Lions might not win another game following a two-game losing streak. Now after Sunday’s 45-10 victory at Denver against the Broncos, all is well with the world as the Lions motor into the bye week 6-2.

 The one thing we get this week is peace and quiet. The Lions are on the bye week which means next Sunday is going to be pretty boring around here. Does the NFL even continue when the Lions don’t play? I guess we find out Sunday.

However, I love the passion of fans around here. We even saw it during the Matt Millen era. It was very bleak when the Lions lost game after game after game. But after every win people saw signs of rebirth. Of course it never happened. And it wasn’t going to happen as long as Millen was around.

I remember during the Millen era I was having dinner at the Champps in Sterling Heights. This woman was staring at me and I’m thinking “the old man still has it. This woman is giving me the goofy eye.” Well she wasn’t giving me the goofy eye. It was the hate eye. Her boy friend came over and said “that is my girlfriend and she hates you because she thinks you are too rough on the Lions.”

My son Little B is the student of the week in his fourth grade class room and one of the things he had to do was create a newspaper page on his summer and his life.

I helped him write a story about our summer trip to the Grand Hotel on Mackinaw Island and cut out a photo of him for the main piece of art. He’d already worked on the other part of the page and one section was title “My hero.”

He chose me and to be honest I got a little tear in my eyes when he read it. He bypassed all the Hollywood actors and singers he likes. He didn’t chose a Detroit Lion or Tiger. He went with dad.

“My dad is my hero because he taught me how to play soccer and he works with me in the backyard,” B wrote. “He also taught me basketball, football and baseball. He goes to all my games and I like being with him. He also writes good stories for the newspaper.”

I don’t understand how you can walk into a shower, watch a grown man rape a 10 year-old boy and just walk away without saying anything.

I don’t understand how you can watch a grown man take advantage of a tiny boy and not run into that shower and beat the living snot out of him.  How can you watch a child be violated and not turn red with rage?

Is keeping your job that important? Is making sure the program at Penn State keeps running that big a deal?

I guess so. 

I agree with those who say Penn State coach Joe Paterno should be fired for not being proactive enough when his former defensive coordinator used young, troubled boys as sexual toys and pets. It is the most heinous crime or scandal I’ve ever heard in sports. This sure beats getting free tattoos or scheduling extra practices.

But I cannot forgive the graduate assistant who walked out of the shower and did nothing.

My rage cuts to the core of human decency. If a child is in trouble you as an adult must step up and make sure it stops. Even if you cannot stop the assault your next stop should be the police, not a supervisor. It angers me when people are harmed.

Where is the rage?

I did something very stupid in a back ally in Seattle. I was walking downtown when I saw two guys kicking a defenssless homeless guy. I got so pissed off that I ran down the ally like a fool telling them to leave this man alone. Half way there I started thinking “what if they beat the snot out of me?”

Could I hold off two guys? I doubt it. But I could not allow this to continue.

By the time I got there the two guys stormed off and I asked the homeless guy if he were OK. The poor guy was so scared that he ran off because he probably thought I was going to kick his ass next.

Of course the police arrive and they were asking me if I were the one beating this guy up. Thankfully about a half dozen witnesses came forward and told them what happened.

But I know the rage I felt when a bum was getting a beat down. I think it would be doubled if it were a child.

Here is another maddening reason why living in Detroit stinks sometimes.

My cousin Miss Boots was robbed this week. She left to go to the store after work and when she came back her television was gone along with some jewelry.  The person knew exactly when she was leaving and timed it perfectly to pull off the heist.

It isn’t just the robbery that is maddening. The sick part is everybody knows who did it. There is a 14 year old boy who my cousin hired a few days ago to do some work for her. he cased the place and knew the back door was vulnerable. She knows he did it. The neighbors know he did it and even the grand parents of the boy know he did it.

My cousin filed a police report and accused the boy of  being the burglar. But nobody is going to step forward and finger the little punk. people in Detroit continue to protect the guilty.

A few weeks ago I told the story of the cheese whiz nachos at Bar Louie’s in Novi. I was told by a bartender that the nachos were delicious. I ordered them and was disappointed to see them splattered with cheese whiz. I told him the cheese whiz nachos did not taste good and he kind of shrugged like ”too bad”" and explained that everybody else liked them and that this was a home made recipe. I did not like the way the bartender handled it so I have not been back since.

And it is a place I visited quite frequently because it is a fun spot to watch games.

Last weekend a bartender handled things the right way. I went to O’Toole in Waterford for a burger. Their burgers have always been delicious so I decided to enjoy one while watching the Red Wings play.  The burger tasted funny. I don’t know if it was the seasoning or if it were the burger itself. But it didn’t taste like the O’ Toole’s burger I’d had before.

“I can tell you are not enjoying your burger,” she said. ‘What’s wrong?”

I explained that the burger did not taste right and that it was a little dry. She offered to bring me another dish. She asked questions about the burger, apologized and took the burger off my bill. I felt like she really cared and her customer service was superb.  I will return. I won’t order the burger but I promise to return and try one of the new dishes she said the restaurant will parade out in a few days. 

I was at a funeral home last night.

Big John died and it was sad.

Big John was obviously big and he was nice and caring and his death came all too soon. Big John was 54 years old, just two years older than me, and he died of a heart attack. He is the fifth man in the past two years that I know who died in their 50s from a heart attack. This is getting too close to home and the numbers are just too high for me to comprehend.

Big John had two daughters. One is a sophomore in high school. The other is a sophomore in college and they were not ready to say good bye. I have two children ages 12 and nine and I want to see their wedding day. That of course is not guaranteed but I am doing everything I can to make sure it happens.

Detroit News photo

Lions defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh has done as much as anybody to polish his image and be a positive role model off the field.

He’s worked just as hard on the field to ruin it.

The only good thing about his stomping incident of Green Bay Packers offensive lineman Evan Dietrich-Smith is that he apologized 24 hours later after one of the most lame excuses in sports. Suh said he was trying to disengage from Dietrich-Smith. Nobody bought that excuse.

I mean nobody. I ran into so many disapppointed Suh fans at the state football finals. People hated the incident. And they hated that Suh lied about it.

He stomped on the arm of Dietrich-Smith. It was plain and simple. Suh cannot lie to his fans. He cannot lie to the media. People are not stupid.

He should be suspended a game by the NFL.  It is hard to argue if the league wants to add on more games.

We recently shocked Detroit News colleague Bob Wojnowski with a surprise 50th birthday party in Ferndale. Trust me when I say that Wojo was taken by surprise and very pleased. Fox 2′s Jennifer “The Hammer” Hammond and The Angel of the Big House Angelique Chengelis pulled it off.

There was a theme to the evening that seemed to hit home. The people in radio, television and print were not simply co-workers to Wojo. They were his family. Sometimes we fight and bicker. We spread gossip and become angry. But people in this profession are family.

Sometimes we are all we’ve got.

We’ve all been hated by the public at some point. It usually happens after we report a controversial story or give an opinion that brings a negative light to one of the sports teams or schools. It does not matter if the report is true, the public often wants to shoot the messenger and defend their team.

I’ve often said if I get into a debate with a member of the Detroit Lions or University of Michigan football I will lose it every time in the court of public opinion. The public wants to believe its sports heroes before it believes us.

We in the media understand that and often I’ve received phone calls from media members supporting me for a story or a tough opinion. They simply say to hang in there. We are family.

The stakes are bigger now because many of us have grown from ink stained scribes to mini celebrities. Most of that is good because I enjoy talking to people and getting to know them. Ninety five percent of people are decent when they meet you.

Then there are others who are not so nice. I’ve gotten emails over the years from a few people who say their main goal is to see me get fired at The Detroit News and on radio at 971 The Ticket. They hate me because I suck as a columnist and I stink on radio.

One guy wrote: “I can’t wait to see your (bleep) children and (bleep) wife homeless in the streets with their dead beat dad.”

I don’t know why this person was so angry. Maybe I wrote that the Lions would not make the playoffs.

Many in the public do not believe me when I tell these stories. People in the business do. They get the same threats and angry emails. They understand because we are in a business that most people do not understand. But mostly they understand because they are family.

And family understands you even during times when it does not get along.

Here is why Ndamukong Suh did not get the book thrown at him from NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell.

Goodell does not believe Suh is part of thug nation. Suh has had five violations in two years and if this were Pacman Jones or James Harrison he would have gotten the book thrown at him. Instead Goodell suspended Suh two games for his stomp of Green Bay Packers offensive guard Evan Dietrich-Smith.

Suh got his sentence reduced even before he turned into The Stomper. He met with Goodell in New York earlier this season and I am always convinced that it is more difficult to levy huge penalties to someone you meet than someone you do not know. Goodell and Suh did not become friends that day but they became names and faces, flesh and blood.

Goodell got to see the softer side of Suh. He saw that he is intelligent and thoughtful and really wanted to know what he did wrong. He knew Suh. And Suh called Goodell Sunday night to express his regrets.

Was it public relations?

Probably.

But I am convinced he conveyed his remorse and Goodell bought it. I also believe Goodell knows Suh can be helped and can become an asset to the league. Some of these other guys he’s probably privately given up on. If you suspend Suh for four games you could lose him.

Suh is as smart off the field as he dumb on the field. The result was a reduced sentence and another chance. Let’s hope this is the last of it. The only regret is that the NFL did not imose anger management classes. I’ve spoken to some NFL players who believe that is exactly what he needs.

There is something not right about Suh. The two game suspension might shock him into acting right, but I am not certain it will cut to the heart of the problem.

He was a young kid. I could tell he was remorseful. I could tell he was nervous and I could tell he wanted to be anywhere but standing in front of me on the side of the road.

I was on my way to work headed toward one of those annoying round abouts when the car in the left lane began to veer into my lane. I slammed the breaks and tried to move over. But there was no room. The cars scrapped and suddenly we were in an official accident.

There was no real damage. I lost a little paint and will try to find a place to make the side of my car look brand new. I had the right to be mad but I wasn’t. I guess I understand he did not do it on purpose. He did not try to harm me, so why get mad?

Should I have cursed this kid out to scare him into paying better attention on the road? Should I have demanded to speak to his parents?

“I am so sorry,” he said. “I didn’t see you there.”

I prefer:

* Waffles over pancakes. Pineapple juice over orange juice and scrambled instead of over easy.

* Football over baseball. Baseball weather over football weather and bases loaded over the red zone.

* The power play over five on five, the Winged wheel over any other hockey logo and Olympia over Joe Louis.

* Calihan in the 70s over Breslin in the 90s, Comerica over Tiger Stadium and Ford Field over the Silverdome.

* Five Guys over Smash burger, Telway and Hunter House over White Castle, The Oak Cafe over Millers.

* Three Nicks Tap Room over Club Snooty, Irish Pub over Swank bar and shots and beer over white wine.

* Vernors over Coke, Better Made over Lays and coney island over Chicago dog.

* Eastern Market over super market, Hillers over Krogers and Whole Foods overall.

* Grand Rapids over Kalamazoo, Grand Haven over Grandville and Holland over Holly

* Fashion boots on the ladies over high heals, tight jeans over Yoga pants and long hair over short.

* A smile over a frown, hug over a hand shake and slapping skin over a high five.

What about you?

The Lions did not lose to New Orleans because Ndamukong Suh was not with the team. The Lions lost to the Saints because they failed to address the reasons why Suh was not with the team.

The lack of discipline trickles beyond The Stomper. We discovered additional melt downs dogs on the team and it cost the Lions on a night that the Saints were ready to be beat. The Lions played undiciplined and selfish football while losing 31-17 to the Saints on the team’s first Sunday Night Game in history.

Guess what?

The Lions hung with the powerful Saints and blew opportunities to win this game. The Lions nearly pulled off another miracle come back after trailing 24-7 at half time but they kept getting in their own way with 11 penalties for 109 yards. Now here is my prediction. The Lions will jump up big and bad and talk about cleaning up undisiplined play.

They will do it because the culprets were Brandon Pettigrew, Stefan Logan and Titus Young. They came down hard on these guys much harder than they did Suh because Suh is a super star and the rest of these guys are not. Yes, they must clean up the mistakes but they must also clean up the double standards.

The Lions should have gotten in Suh’s face with the same vengence as they did lesser players. They didn’t and they sent the message that it is OK to act a fool in the heat of battle. Remember, Suh got booted when the Lions still had a punchers chance to beat Green Bay. Then the undisciplined play continued when they had a punchers chance to beat the Saints.

This is no longer a Suh issue or a Titus Young issue. This is a coach Jim Schwartz issue and anybody else who is a team captain in that dressing room. They failed as leaders and it cost the Lions a possible victory and slot in the playoffs. My advice is for the team to get in the face of teammates who failed them and tell them this won’t be tolerated again. And they must do it again when Suh returns from his two game suspension.

Every other week I sit down with the wife to fill out our planner for the next 14 days.

We fill our dates with soccer practices and games for the kids. Then there are the concerts, plays and movie nights at school. She is the PTA President and is active in two charity groups and my days are filled with two jobs, games, bar appearances and speeches.

What we haven’t done is fill in a spot for dates for mom and dad. We’ve gone out to dinner about six times the past month — all the time with the kids. We rarely have alone time in the fall. There is just too much going on.

Two weeks ago I was excited because it was a Friday and I remember the date book was empty that day. I called her for a last minute date.

“Oh I forgot to tell you. The kids are having a movie night.” she said. “You don’t have to come.”

 Prince is back with the Pistons because President Joe Dumars believed he had a playoff team last season. He simply did not have a playoff coach. Now with the addition of Brandon Knight and Jonas Jerebko the Pistons will be stronger.

That will be the spin this season as the Pistons return with the same old gang. Last season we witnessed one of the most unprofessional teams in NBA history. The Pistons do not want you to judge Rodney Stuckey, Rip Hamilton and Prince as unprofessional. They want you to believe that head coach John Kuester was the problem.  Kuester is out of the way after being hung on a string before being fired.

He definitely was in over his head trying to coach a head strong team. He did not stand up to them but more importantly he did not have the support of management.  When Kuester made tough decisions, like sitting Hamilton, he was on an island by himself. Dumars did not come out and support him in anything and hung him out to dry when he and Hamilton did not speak for weeks.

Let’s be honest. If a guy cannot talk to his starting shooting guard is he really much of a communicator?  Q is a great guy and made some good decisions on the court, but he is not the leader of men. Now the spotlight is on the players. Their new coach Lawrence Frank has the support of new ownership and you can bet if Frank has problems with this group Dumars or owner Tom Gores will step up and give him support.

The Lions are beaten up. They need help in the secondary and they need help at running back. I hope defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh soaked in the Lions 34-28 victory over Minnesota on television and see how badly he is needed and how important it is to remain in games and not act a fool.

The Lions got away with one Sunday. They jumped to a 21-0 lead and needed every play of the game to win it. They are a good, hard-nosed and physical football team. The problem is they are not sharp mentally and that is one reason why the quality of football has suffered down the stretch.

They played New Orleans toe to toe but allowed officials to get inside their heads and lost a game they had a shot to win. They were lucky two critical mistakes did not crush them against the Vikings. The Lions still don’t get it.

Let’s focus on two plays. I did not like that wide receiver Titus Young slowed down on a long touchdown pass and casually held the ball, begging for someone to strip him. A Vikings defender did just after Young crossed the goal line. He forced a fumble a half a step over the goal line and the play was close enough for officials to review it.

Young got lucky. If that Vikings defender was a split second faster Young would be on Sports Center as another example of what not to do on a football field. That one play could have been the difference between victory and defeat.

On the final play of the game you must applaud linebacker DeAndre Levy for stripping Minnesota quarterback Joe Webb of the ball to win the game. But Levy grabbed his face mask and if officials were in position to see it the Vikings would have gotten the chance to run one more play and possibly win.

I played “The children are starving in Africa card” with my daughter Celine. It is something my grandmother used to scream at me when I threw food into the garbage as a child and I promised never to do it as an adult.

But I was really angry when Celine tossed perfectly untouched chicken tenders into the garbage disposal because she was not in the mood for chicken the other evening. I was furious and gave her one of her toughest lectures to date. Her forensics team finished fifth in state competition and I rewarded the family with pizza, chicken tenders, salad and macaroni and cheese from Buddy’s carry out. The food was great. She didn’t even want to try the chicken. 

“Are you kidding me,” I screamed. “You just throw food out like it is garbage? That was a very selfish move on your part.”

She began to cry but I was not finished. It came out of nowhere and it was loud and it was with great force.

“Don’t you know children are starving in Africa and you just throw food out like that?”

FLORENCE, Ala. — Joe Long is a big guy with a big smile who doesn’t like to make a big deal in public unless he is on a football field.

His brother Jake Long is the same way, but he always makes a big splash when he is on or off a football field. The difference is Jake Long was bigger and stronger when he left high school and got a scholarship to the University of Michigan which led to a career with the Miami Dolphins. Joe Long plays left tackle for the Wayne State road Warriors.

You’ve heard Jake Long’s story. You might not have heard Joe’s because of where he’s played. It has been my pleasure to present the story of the small guy all this week in The Detroit News as Wayne State tried to win its first Division II football title in history.  I’ve been behind the scenes with the Warriors (11-3) as they prepare for their game against Pittsburg State, a once beaten team south of Kansas City, Kansas.

Wayne State is an underdog again, but that is not at the heart of this story. It is about a bunch of guys who are a little smaller and slower than their Division I counterparts. They play in smaller stadiums against Ferris State and Northwood University, not Florida State and Northwestern University.

Therefore we do not present their story in newspaper, radio or television unless they do something spectacular like play for a national title.  I’ve written about coach Paul Winters periodically the past eight seasons as he built this program from nothing into a national threat.

It was great getting to know people like Jeremy Jones, Josh Renel and Long. They have great stories behind their games. I invite you to follow them today on ESPN and at detnews.com as they play Pittsburg State. I will write about them after every quarter and will follow up with a game story and column at detnews.com.

It would be great if you can pass the word and have people read. High readership might prompt editors to give them more ink down the road. The road Warriors deserve it whether they are home or away, in a national championship game in Alabama or in a GLIAC game against Grand Valley.

Joe Long is not as talented as Jake Long. But he works just as hard.

I usually park at Park and Go when I leave out of Metro Airport. That was the case last week when I flew to Alabama to spend a few days with Wayne State’s football team.

My bus driver was very friendly and our trip got extended when someone called to say my lights did not go out on my car.

“I’ve worked 147 consecutive days,” he said.

By my calculations his last off day was sometimes in July. He told me he’s been on a seven-day shift since summer. He works nights two days a week and the afternoon shift the rest of the time. That is maddening. We all need a couple days to recharge our batteries.

But my guy was telling me he needs the hours to make ends meet. He charged up a credit card. He needs to make house and car payments and he is trying to get out of debt. The only way to do it, he said, was to work and work and work. Besides, if he is working he can’t go out and spend money.

Today I will do some last minute shopping for the ladies of my life — mom, cousin and my wife. When I was younger this was the only day I shopped. And it was a lot of fun. Here was the drill.

My tradition in my 20s was to get up early on Dec. 23 with my shopping list and shop all day. I’d go to the mall and shop, then eat lunch. I’d load the car up with gifts and go someplace else to shop. Then I would eat dinner and return home and wrap my gifts. If I forgot a  gift I’d get up early Christmas Eve and get last minute items.

It was an all day splurge and it was a blast. This way I didn’t worry about running around and fighting the shoppers except for one day. People are rough in the malls. I’ve had items literally snatched out of my hands as people aggressively power shop. It was crazy and I’d rather deal with it for one day than deal with it for several days.

Today I shop more online. I lead a very busy life and there isn’t much time to go to the mall and horse around. I’d rather get some key items from the comfort of my home. I wish there were online shopping when I were younger, but it is something I am discovering now. I also did a little shopping before Thanksgiving, which I refused to do before because I wasn’t in the holiday spirit yet.

Now its who cares?

Most men don’t like to shop. I actually do. I just think it gets crazy around the holidays and home is the best place to be.

So I am ready to battle the crowds today one last time.  I got credit card, cash and a helmet. I am ready to go.

The bars and restaurants were thinning out by the time I finished writing following the Lions playoff clinching victory over the San Diego Chargers Saturday night.

A couple wearing Calvin Johnson jerseys and Santa hats walked by. Three buddies walked briskly to their car near Comerica Park. They didn’t need to say a word. You could see it in their eyes. They were thrilled to be Lion fans. I was happy for them.

But then I saw it. It was the sight I really wanted to see. A kid leaped across the street on Monroe near Fishbones. He waved his hands in the air and threw his head back as he did a funky victory dance through Greektown. That kid was me a million years ago when the 1968 Tigers clinched the pennant at Tiger Stadium against the New York Yankees.

I did a similar dance and a similar shout as I walked with my Aunt Margo on Michigan Avenue after watching the Tigers clinch their first pennant in my life time. It was an exelerating moment for a kid who loved his hometown cats. I am certain this little boy, who must have been nine years old, felt the same glee. His hometown cats were headed to the playoffs and nobody can stop that — not Green Bay, not New Orleans, not Dallas.

“I am so happy for these fans,” Hall of Fame tight end Charlie Sanders told me as we watched part of the fourth quarter together. “Oh my Lord. They deserve this.”

Lion fans did not deserve the decade known as Matt Millen. They do deserve this. They are long suffering, but they are also long loyal.

They always believe even when there was nothing to believe in. They will fight you tooth and nail about their team even when their team is toothless and worthless.  They get angry (who can blame them?) but they are some of the most loyal fans in the world. That is why it was great to see players acknowledge that by slapping high fives with fans after the game. It meant a lot for these people to share this moment with the players they love.

Merry Christmas Lion fans. You deserved this. And many happy returns.

I could sure use a long, hot and relaxing soak in the tub right now. I am sore all over the place, but it is a good kind of sore.

I came out of pick up basketball retirement Monday and was fortunate to play in three straight games before shutting it down for younger and faster guys. Our team kept winning even though the team was stuck with me as the fifth wheel. It was worth getting yelled at by my wife who made me retire five years ago. It was worth getting lectured from the trainer who actually told me not to worry about getting injured until I actaully started playing. Now she is worried about me getting injured.

Women. You can never figure them out.

My come back took place Monday morning at the Commerce Township Life Time Fitness. I finished my morning workout, saw guys getting ready to play and slipped into my gym shoes. It was rough. I was winded and tired but my stamina began to build up. I do work out but there is something about running up and down a basketball court that wears on you.

But my workouts came in handy because I began to pick up energy the longer I played.

The one thing that was tough to get back was your basketball instincts. All of the bad things I rip the Pistons for doing, I did. I did not follow my shot. I got broken down on a cross over and I sometimes did not block out. But those things started to slowly come. My jumper actually fell a couple of times and I crashed the boards for two tip in buckets.

I already know the type players I hate most. I hate those guys who are speedy and want to run through picks all day. I had to guard a guy like that and I was so tempted to smack him in the face to slow him down. I like the big fat guy who wants to post up all day. He is sweaty and gross smelling but at least you get a rest while guarding him.

What is it about pick up basketball and men? We love to compete. We love the action and we love to show other guys we’ve got a little game. Mostly for me it is a great time to bond and talk and be part of a team. We won and I made some small contributions.

I would love to find a weekly game somewhere. Life Time gets too crowded and when the young boys come to play that is when the arguments take over. If I want to argue I can just stay home and pick with the wife.

I will try to find a game once a week. I am not going to make this an every day thing. OK. I have to go and find some Ben Gay. This hurts.

I never believe fans when they say they’ve had it with an athlete, especially one that remains productive.

I got an earful of that after Lions defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh stomped that Green Bay player and waited days to issue an apology for it. Fans wrote they were fed up with Suh. I told them they were nuts. And I was right.

During the Pistons home opener the Pistons put Suh in a Detroit uniform and put him on the giant screen. The place went nuts as he smiled and pointed to his new jersey. You heard loud chants of “Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh.”

And that is the way it should be. Suh might be the best defensive tackle in the NFL. He can help give you something you sorely want as Detroit fans — a championship. He wins football games and he puts people on their backs. There were a lot of harsh words thrown out when Suh was suspended two games. Some of you were angry and said he did not represent Detroit. Some screamed that the Lions should trade him.

Forgive me for laughing in your face. That was goofy talk. It was just as silly as when a number of you demanded that the Tigers trade Miguel Cabrera after his fling on the wild side in a Florida restaurant and highway. You do not trade superstars until they are broken down because it is difficult to get equal value.

So what should you do if you see Suh on a giant screen?

You know the drill.

Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhh

CHICAGO – We were like most Americans. We watched the ball drop in New York City and wondered why Dick Clark is still doing the countdown. But we are happy he is alive to do it.

We spent a quiet New Years Eve at Big Ralph’s who made the best beef brisket and grilled vegetables I’ve ever had.  He knew it was good and kept asking everyone: ”Is this beef brisket tender? Does this beef brisket taste like it has been smoking all day outside?”

He knew the answer. He just wanted to hear it from everybody.

It was just fun being with family. I brought in the New Year with Little B in my lap. And my daughter Celine sat in mom’s lap. The adults toasted with champagne. The kids sang the new year in. There were a lot of people who went out and enjoyed themselves. Unfortunately some did not return home to loved ones. That is something we still must work on.

However, I love being with family for New Years Eve. It is safer and more enjoyable.

I spent the day with my bride Adrienne.  We got rid of the kids and enjoyed breakfast at a place called Blueberry Pancakes. Later we went shopping for the kids although I ended the year with one of the great purchases of the year. I purchased a $200 overcoat for $48. It is a great looking coat. The lady says the problem is the zipper gets stuck sometimes although it zipped perfectly for me 10 straight times.

Still I will take it.

We also bought some Garrett popcorn and will be bringing a nice stash of Chicago mix home.

My goal this year is to slow it down a bit. I am too busy. I have too much to do and sometimes get distracted.

I am probably the exact opposite of most of you. You want to kick it up a notch. You probably want more work and more money and trust me I am rooting for you to do that. But I want to kick back a little bit more in 2012. Of course I say this every year and it is hard to do.

I love the action. I love the games and the writing and the talking and doing stuff in public. My life is fun. It is hectic but it is fun and it never seems to stop.

Any way. Happy New Year. I hope your life revs up or slows down or whatever you want. Thanks for being part of my life. I hope we can keep on rolling.

Today I am coming to the defense of the people with “Down with Detroit.” They are under attack because some believe a simple T-shirt that simply says “Kool-aide and cornbread” is racist against black people.

That is ridiculous. The shirt is obviously a play on Lion fans who often drink the Lions Kool-aide and eat the Lions cornbread. They believe in the Lions no matter what.  This is a running joke on sports talk radio and in the sporting community. The down with Detroit people made up a blue T-shirt and shortly after posting it on their sight were accused of being racist.

Maybe I am wrong. Maybe I see the world through rose colored glasses at times. But the people who run this website did not have evil intentions when they made the shirt. They simply played off something we talk about all the time. Sometimes we are too sensitive and search for something that is not there.

I know people joke that black people used to love grape Kool-Aide and eat cornbread way back in the day but most young people aren’t even aware of this. And if you think people think Kool-Aide and corn bread when they see a black person, you are nuts.  I remember a columnist wrote about a black athlete who ate fried chicken during an interview. He casually put the reference in the column because he was setting a scene. The fried chicken reference was taken out.

How silly.

Sometimes the best option is to lie.

A guy loves his girlfriend. A woman loves her boyfriend and many weeks ago before we knew the Lions would be in the playoffs playing a Saturday night game of the decade game in New Orleans she bought him tickets to Saurday night’s Pistons game against the New York Knicks at the Palace. She is not a basketball game and won’t attend.

Here is the problem. The Pistons play a who cares game Saturday night when the Lions will be playing a game all of Michigan will be glued to. He wants to see the Lions because the game means so much but at the same time he does not want to hurt his woman’s feelings. So what should he do?

Sorry but this is a time when lying is fine. He should skip the Pistons game, watch the Lions with his buddies and when she asks how the Pistons did simply say “It was a pretty good game but the Pistons dropped a disappointing game to the Knicks. Thank you baby. I love you.”

Then he kisses her and moves on.

Shame on Aaron Berry. The Lions cornerback  gets a few tweets pointing out he did not play well against the New Orleans Saints and he pulls a switch blade out on the city he plays for and cuts deep. He told people to go back to their broke and miserable lives after taking some heat for his play during a 45-28 loss to the Saints in the NFC wild card game Saturday night.

Here is what Berry wrote before taking the post down on his twitter account lockdown717.

“Y’all can go back to being Broke & Miserable…now back to regular scheduled programming…”

Classy, huh?

Then he tried to clean it up.

“I apologize to my loyal fans for my tweet…jus disgusting how ppl can get when they don’t know nothin at all…”

Then came.

“Now y’all making it seem like I was talking to all the fans in Detroit…boy y’all funny…Have a blessed night!!!”

It seems like pro athletes should have a license before opening a twitter account.

It was a night where he could not tackle. It was a night where he could not cover and it was a night where he allowed some interceptions to slip away. He was hardly the second coming of Deion “Prime Time” Sanders. He played more like Colonial Sanders. When you are in the public eye the public is going to call you out.

I went to the Pistons game Tuesday night and watched the never quit Pistons fight and scratch and claw their way to only lose 100-86 to the Dallas Mavericks at The Palace.

OK. I am being sarcastic. I watched another dismal performance from a team that lacks energy, toughness, talent and an identity. The Pistons are not only getting beat on a nightly basis but they are getting smashed in the face. Most of their losses are by double digits. Last week they paid tribute to Michael Jordan by losing two games by 23 points each.

I am waiting for them to honor Lions defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh who wears 90.

That is not the entire story. Nobody is coming to watch this team play and who can blame them? What you are left with is a sterile atmosphere that reminds me of the days when the Detroit Shock played there. Actually the Shock out drew the Pistons some nights, just as the Michigan State women’s basketball team did one night last week.

I remembered how  the Palace rocked during the Bad Boys days of Isiah Thomas and the New Boys days of Ben Wallace. Now the place reminds me of that old Christmas song “Silent Night.”

You can see growing frustration on the bench as players try to figure things out. And you can see frustration on the face of coach Lawrence Frank who often jumps from the bench as if somebody lit his pants on fire when games turn into dunk fests. Frank hates when his team gets dunked on but at some point of the game opponents turn into human highlight reels.

“This is going to be painful,” Frank said.

It is painful. The last time the Pistons were this bad they were tanking the season to get the number one pick in the draft. The last time the Palace was this quiet was during the NBA lockout. The only reason to go is to see if young pups Greg Monroe and Brandon Knight can turn into something. Monroe is showing signs of building a bright future. Knight remains a work in progress.

Typically in the NBA there is a four to five-year cycle to turn a good team turned bad into a good team again. The Pistons are in year three. No big name free agent will come here and I am not convinced the Pistons would go after one any way. Their future is in the draft lottery where they hope to land a future great. The problem is I do not see one coming down the pipe line.

So if you ever want a night of peace and quiet don’t go to the library. The Palace might be the place for you.

Today is Friday the 13th and I am not worried.

I am doing about my day normally. I won’t look out for black cats. I won’t go searching for four leaf cloavers and I do not believe the world will come to an end today. It is amazing I felt that way because Friday the 13th used to mean a day of doom, gloom and visits from the heavens. It was a day of bad luck.

My aunt used to do all of her errands the day before or on Saturday. She did not want to take a chance of something bad happening on Friday the 13th. She went to work and did all the essentals but she did not go out of her way. One of our neighbors stayed in the house the entire day. She was convinced she was going to get hit by a bus or some moon fragment.

We do believe she’d already been hit in the head by something.

In my neighborhood Friday the 13th was circled in red in the same manner Brady Hoke does when Michigan plays Ohio. It was a bad holiday. Most of the people in my old neifhborhood believed in ghost, goblins and spirits. People always talked about Uncle Ed who’d died 10 years earlier coming to visit. It was as if he had moved to Florida and decided to come up and visit the family.

I am surprised we didn’t have a welcoming party for our dead relatives. And Friday the 13th was like a family reuniion. Everybody came to visit. I used to buy into that until I got older although I still believe in ghosts. But Friday the 13th is just another day for me.

Now I wonder how this lucky rabbit’s foot got in my jean pockets?

LAS VEGAS — Here is the great thing about being in a casino on The Strip. The hookers dress more conservatively than regular patrons. The wife and I got an eyeful when we were checking into the Luxor Hotel.

“Oh my God,” Abs said. “There are some interesting looking outfits walking around here.”

She got her words mixed up. They were not interesting. They were exotic. A lot of cows, snakes and gators died for some of the outfits we saw. They were skimpy and the only things covered were what the law required. And do you want to hear a secret?

Shhhhhhhh!!!

I loved it. The freak show was great for the most part. Now and then you’d get 200 pound home girl trying to pull it off. It didn’t quite work out. And there were freak show sights for the ladies too. The new thing is work out guy with no sleeves. He wants to show you how many hours he’s been in the gym. I’d never seen a sleeveless leather T-shirt until last night. Where do I get one of those?

I bet it was even crazier at Caesars, MGM Grand and some of the more famous casinos.

I am here for my sister-in-laws wedding and I already look forward to tonight so I can hit the casinos and dining halls for the next exotic freak show. Or maybe I will go out and buy a new suit for me and Abs.

How about leopard for the lady and zebra for me?

A couple years ago a 30 minute interview with Michigan State basketball coach Tom Izzo turned into a three-hour marathon. We talked basketball and the economy. We talked about family and the economy. We even talked about health and fitness as Izzo promised to use a treadmill in his office more.

But one of the more interesting things we talked about was Michigan and Michigan State hoops. Izzo didn’t talk about his desire or need to stomp the Wolverines every time he faced him, although that is what he wants to do. Instead he talked about his desire to see both programs strong and to make college basketball a top of mind sport in the state of Michigan.

“Why can’t we have a North Carolina-Duke situation here,” Izzo said. “Why can’t both programs be strong and amongst the top in the nation. Trust me I want to beat their ass every year. But having both programs strong is good for all of us.”

College basketball is not top of mind in our state and this is a long way from being Tobacco Road North. However, Michigan and Michigan State play tonight for more than bragging rights. The two teams are fighting for a Big Ten title and the game is important. The Spartans are tied for first. The Wolverines are a game behind and this is the first time the two teams have faced each other while ranked since 1998.

I did it for a reason. I stoked the flames of the Michigan-Michigan State rivalry because I love it when fans back peddle. I love it when they set a standard for their program and won’t do it for the other.

The Michigan-Michigan State rivalry is alive and well although some folks still try to deny it. My job is to poke the flames now and then just to keep things rolling. I don’t have a horse in this race. I am a state of Michigan man and only ask that you entertain me three times a year with two good basketball games and a good football game in the fall.

Shortly after Michigan beat Michigan State 60-59 Tuesday night I threw a test bomb out there by writing on this blog that MSU remains the better program. You can go back to the archives to read it.

That riled up blue bloods from around the country who said I was unfair and it was untrue and that the timing was all wrong. And then some of you rocket scientist came up with the same old tired retort that I am sniffing Mike Valenti’s jock strap. When you don’t have a good argument that is the card you play.

But let’s go through a time line and go through your reaction.

When Rich Rodriguez fire bombed Michigan’s football program I did say that the Spartans were not only a better team but a better program. The reason is that this was no longer the Michigan program I recognized. It was something else. Blue bloods got mad because they said you have to look at Michigan tradition and it trumped the Spartans. I would have normally agreed but that thing they paraded out there was not Michigan football.

This was the dazed and blue.

When Brady Hoke took over I acknowledged that Michigan was back and that if you want to use tradition as a reason why Michigan’s program is stronger then go for it. Michigan State however was the better team. Of course the Spartans got mad because they’d beaten Michigan four straight times.  The Michigan fans were happy with that statement and I got emails praising me for standing up to the mean devil known as Mike Valenti.

Last season I said that Michigan was a better basketball team than MSU even before the Wolverines beat the Spartans for the second time in a row. Again Spartans were mad and talked about the Detroit bias against their team.

And finally I threw out Tuesday’s test bomb. I said the exact same thing about Michigan State’s basketball program that I said about Michigan’s football program under Hoke. You thought I wrote setting children on fire is a good thing. The blue bellies got so fired up that I thought they were going to explode.

I guess my question is simple. If Michigan is a better football program because of tradition and recent accomplishments prior to Rich Rod then why isn’t Michigan State’s basketball program better because of tradition and recent accomplishments?

I will be listening and reading.

A feeding frenzy hit Detroit when Tigers third baseman Brandon Inge said he is preparing to become the Tigers starting third baseman just moments after manager Jim Leyland announced Inge would platoon there with Don Kelly.

How dare he.

The fans went nuts and complained about Inge being entitled, spoiled and ungrateful. The man is a lightening rod. Every time he speaks it sparks a debate. But Inge didn’t say anything differently than any other pro athlete. He simply said he is preparing to be a starter. He has confidence in himself that he can rebound from a disaster season during which he hit below .200.

“I love Don Kelly but I am not looking to platoon,” Inge said.

He wants to be a starter. So what is wrong with that? Now if you want to say he does not deserve to start I am fine with that. If you want to give the job to Kelly, that is cool also. But what did Inge do that was wrong except play bad baseball?

He did not make demands. He did not call Leyland out and he did not say if he is not a starter he is checking out. He did none of that. Inge said he prepared to be the starting third baseman. I’ve never heard an athlete say he is working hard to be a back up unless of course you played first base the past few years for the St. Louis Cardinals or quarterback for the New England Patriots.

Leyland put the heat on Inge saying he needs more from third base. He is right. Inge must hit better especially with Victor Martinez out this season with a knee injury. Everybody must pull their weight.

For years Inge was guaranteed his perch atop third base. That is no longer the case and let’s see how he responds where nothing is given to him. Leyland said he hopes Inge plays well enough to be the Tigers starting third baseman. All Tiger fans should wish that because this is a team gunning for titles, not just playing to have fun.

I do not blame Leyland for making Inge earn his spot. He must do better. The old days of batting .236 or 200 is not good enough.

OK. It is time to make fun of Spartans today.

On Sunday the Super Bowl was set when the New England Patriots defeated the Baltimore Ravens in the AFC Championship game and the San Francisco 49ers got bounced by the New York Giants. This sets up a rematch between the Patriots and Giants when the G-men spoiled an unbeaten season by beating the Patriots in 2008.

A few people asked for a prediction in the Super Bowl and I said I think the Patriots will get revenge and beat the Giants. So what does this have to do with Spartan fans? Hang on.

Two people actually had smart ass remarks. Let me paraphrase.

“Is that because of your U-M love and bias?”

It took me a moment to figure out what they were getting at but it quickly hit me that former University of Michigan quarterback Tom Brady quarterbacks the Patriots and is the face of the franchise. So these people are dumb enough to think I would pick the Patriots to win a Super Bowl because I am in love with Michigan?

Late Tuesday night I appeared on a Chicago radio station asking me for the inside scoop on the Tigers signing slugger Prince Fielder. And here was my insight.

“I will be honest with you. I don’t know what the heck happened. I am still walking around in shock.”

“You had to have an inkling something was up,” the announcer said.
“Nope. Not a clue,” I admitted.’

It was the kind of shock that made your jaw drop when you heard the Tigers signed Fielder to a nine-year, $214 million contract. From the people I talked to, Fielder did not want to come to Detroit and play for the Tigers. It actually didn’t have as much to do with his estranged father Cecil Fielder, who played here, as I originally thought.

He thought he was a better fit elsewhere — perhaps Texas or Washington. But Tigers owner Mike Ilitch gave Fielder an offer he couldn’t refuse by offering him the fourth highest contract in baseball history. Ilitch took all his poker chips and shoved them to the middle of the table. He is all in and nobody expected this.

The Ilitch family, outside of Mike Ilitch is stunned. Tigers manager Jim Leyland scolded reporters for asking about Fielder basically calling them stupid for even bringing it up. And I still don’t think Ilitch has told Tigers President Dave Dombrowski yet. He probably found out on twitter.

I keep hearing this will be a good deal on the front end and a bad one on the back end. Fielder is 27 years old. My guess is he has six good years. Beyond that I do not care. And if he discovers better eating and training habits he could last longer. I hope he finds it because this dude could mash for a long time.

I will write more about this in the coming days. I am just stunned right now and want to make sure this is actually happening. Could somebody pinch me?

You mean to tell me Tayshaun Prince is no longer the Prince of Detroit? Stunning.

Every Saturday is daddy-son time. That is when me and my son B run errands, enjoy lunch and talk about the week past and the week ahead. Maybe we go to his soccer game. Maybe we play games at Dave and Busters. During that time our bond grows.

Night time is daddy-daughter time. My job is to quiz Celine on upcoming tests. On Thursday nights I drive her to and from practice. Recently she admitted there is a boy she likes but she is not sure he likes her. Sometimes we grab ice cream and chat more. During that time our bond grows.

My mother and sister do not talk. They have not spoken for years because they are both bull headed and too much like each other. There is a hole in the entire family because of it. I am sure the same void is in the Fielder family. Cecil the dad and Prince the son used to be best buddies. We saw son and dad at Tiger Stadium, hitting home runs together during batting practice and doing McDonald’s commercials together. It was a special relationship that made everybody feel good.

Now that relationship is estranged and strange. Prince does not talk about the dad and the dad only talks about the son in hoping their relationship heals.

What is it about Brandon Inge?

We love him. We hate him but we cannot ignore him. I wrote a column on Inge for today’s Detroit News and I immediately knew it would create a fire storm. It was the most read story the past 24 hours on Detnews.com and people are chirping all over the city.

Former Tigers pitcher Denny McLain blasted Inge saying he should be grateful to be on a more competitive team rather than complain about losing his third base job to Miguel Cabrera. McLain is right. Inge does not deserve to complain about this. I understand he is a competitor and wants to right for his job. But he comes up way short in the argument.

Inge batted .193 last season while Cabrera batted .344 with 30 home runs and 105 runs batted in. There is no comparison between the two. Inge’s defense does not make up for 150 points in batting.

Every time Inge speaks people react. And every time we react the aura of Inge grows. He is the most publicized guy with a below .250 batting average in the history of baseball. Sorry pitchers do not count. So what is it?

I would love to hear from you about why people react so much to Inge. Many people are saying they want to see him go away but I was listening to the radio over the weekend and there are still people defending him and looking for ways to get him more playing time.

There is just something about Brandon Inge. What is it?

Help me please.

It was almost five in the morning. It was pitch black as I drove on Michigan avenue for my workout with trainer Melissa.

It was quiet, peaceful and no traffic was around. I was relaxed and ready for this hour of hell this woman puts me through. Then all of a sudden there was a person in front of my car and all my nerves stood on edge. I quickly changed lanes and saw this person scramble to get out of the street back onto the curve.

My heart stopped for a split second. I could have killed the pedestrian.

You never expect anybody to be walking in the street when it was pitch black. The other thing is they were wearing dark clothing and was difficult to see. I am glad I have good reflexes because I was really in chill mode. If I do not see cars on the road I relax.

No more.

You always need to be aware of your surroundings. You just never know who or what is on the road.  I’ve run over raccoons and squrrels but have never hit a person with my car. I of course never want that to happen.

But as I thought about it later. Who the heck walks in the road when it is dark? Isn’t that kind of a death wish? Usually runners wear reflective strips on their clothes or bikers have lights and reflective parts of their bike where you know where they are.

But black on black at night does not work. Let’s be careful.

Take it to the bank. The New York Giants will win the Super Bow today.

Do you know why?

It’s because I am picking Tom Brady and the New England Patriots to win. Are you confused? Well so am I.

Let me explain it to you another way. I am predicting the Giants to win the Super Bowl because I am picking the Patriots to win the Super Bowl. Still confused? Yeah, so am I.

Here is what’s going on. I am finishing up a terrible season in picking winners in football. I swear I’ve gotten every game wrong during the playoffs. Well I did pick the New Orleans Saints to beat the Lions. So I got one right. I finished last for the first time on the Valenti and Foster Show on picking winners in the NFL and college. I dragged on my NFL picks after replacing former Detroit News sports writer Tim Twentyman who left the paper to work for the Detroit Lions website.

I called a female friend to pick my games one week hoping the female touch sparks me. That did not work.

Stuff happens. Games are unpredictable. These things go in cycles.

I explained this to Pistons coach Lawrence Frank as we left the Palace Saturday night. He wants the Giants to win because he is a Jersey guy. He had a puzzled look on his face, finally got it and smiled.

“Good.” he said laughing.

Some years I can do no wrong. My percentage is so high I half way think of moving to Vegas and cleaning up. There is no secret formula. It just happens. It is the same this season. There is no secret formula to being bad. It just happened.

This is a curious game any way. The Giants are favored underdogs. They are 2 1/2 point underdogs but 65 percent of betters are betting on them. I don’t know why they are not favored to win. It’s probably because Vegas knows something we don’t know, which is often the case.

So do you want to clean house and buy a new house? Then bet the house on the Giants because I am telling you the Patriots are going to win.

Every night I check on my children while they sleep. I could never imagine taking a hatchet and half chop their heads off and then set the house on fire and kill them. But that is what a Washington man did to his two boys.

It appears as if Josh Powell took a hatchet, chopped his two sons head and then died alongside with them after he set the house ablaze. I don’t care how angry you are. I don’t care what is going through your head, how can you do that to your own flesh and blood? This story angers me. We bring children into the world. They did not choose to come. And our jobs is to help them as much as we can to become good people.

Charles was 7 years old and Braden just 5.

You do not selfishly take away their lives.

“What happened here was an act of evil. Do not call it a tragedy because that sanitizes it,” Pierce County Sheriff Paul Pastor told the Seattle Times. “This was a terrible act of murder involving two young children.”

Here is my Detroit All time All interview team. Only people I actually interviewed qualified.

GRANT HILL (PISTONS): He was a smart guy who loved breaking down the game even though his team usually broke down around him. Hill was filled with quips and good stories and loved to shoot the breeze with reporters.

NATE BURLESON (LIONS): Burleson loves to talk. He is a great promoter of the team but you can tell he believes in what he says. He fills reporters’ notebooks with great stories.

ISIAH THOMAS (PISTONS): You knew you had a good story coming if Thomas sat in his dressing stall with his head down while teammates showered. It meant there was something on his mind and he needed to talk.

PAUL COFFEY (RED WINGS): Former Red Wings coach Scottie Bowman always hated when I talked to Coffey. He thought he was giving me inside secrets, which he wasn’t. Bowman saw me talking to Coffey and cleared the dressing room. I thought the interview was over. Coffey told me to go to the stands where we continued our conversation.

BRANDON INGE (TIGERS): He was everybody’s go to guy and it will be interesting if that will be the case as his role diminishes with the team.

DOMINIC RAIOLA (LIONS): He wears his passion on his sleeves and tells the media and fans exactly how he feels.

BILL LAIMBEER (PISTONS): Everybody in the media did not like Laimbeer and he did not like everybody in the media. But we got along and he was very insightful during interviews.

CHRIS OSGOOD (REDWINGS): Osgood always let you in on how he felt. I was even there when he cried after that bad clearing pass that cost the Wings a series. He was quiet but had a lot to say.

DINO CICCARELLI (RED WINGS): Dino gritted his teeth during interviews. It was as if he was still playing the game.

HERMAN MOORE (LIONS): He was a smart guy that explained the violence of football in a clear way.

ALAN TRAMMELL (TIGERS): Tram would talk forever, the exact opposite of running mate Lou Whitaker.

I am glad I did my all interview team the other day on this blog because it drew a response from former Free Press columnist Charlie Vincent.

He mentioned that Sparky Anderson and Herman Moore were good guys to aid to my all-interview team and he is right.

Vincent is one of the most underrated voices in Detroit sports history because Vincent was always forced to play second fiddle to other people at the Free Press. But the thing I liked about him is he wrote opinion pieces. He did not write features disguised as columns. His goal was to send a message whether you agreed with it or not.

Two of the more interesting stories involved Vincent.  One time he wrote a descriptive pieces about a black athlete. He wrote what he wore, where he was and what he was eating. The guy happened to be eating a piece of fried chicken and Vincent included that in his column. The editors took it out because they said it was racist.

Vincent argued that he simply was writing what the guy was doing. The editors did not move. I understand that us black folks are sometimes portrayed as shuffling fried chicken eating people who are angry with the world. But I told Vincent he was in the right on this and the entire narrative should be included. It was an early sign of things to come.

The NHL and Commissioner Gary Bettman is already crawling back on its hands and knees back to Detroit saying “Hey guys remember us?”

The Red Wings are this league’s greatest asset. There is no Jeremy Lin coming around the corner to save the day. The NHL’s Jeremy Lin is in street clothes in Pittsburgh. Without Sidney Crosby what does the NHL truly have? It has the Red Wings, a barnstorming team from coast to coast. If you’ve ever been in an opposing arena you will know what I’m talking about. You feel at home on the road with the Red Wings because arena’s are usually filled with your homies who root for them.

I am sure the plan was in place many months ago, but I find it curious that this area gets the Winter Classic when Crosby is shut down and may never be the same. It seems as if the league is giving the Wings something it should have had a long time ago — a home Winter Classic. The game will be played at Michigan Stadium so the league can break attendance records. I’m not a big fan of it because downtown is the right spot for the game.

However, Comerica Park won’t sit empty because of a number of other games and festivities which hopefully will make downtown jump.

The Wings also made their own history by winning their 21st consecutive home game at Joe Louis Arena. Players skated around the ice and gave fans a 21-win salute. They also sent a message to New York. Shove it Mr. Commissioner. The Red Wings along with a handful of other Midwest teams have the most difficult and mind bending schedule in the NHL.

The Wings should not be a team winning 21 straight home games simply because they travel longer distances than anybody. Fans don’t understand how difficult it is to perform at home on a Tuesday night after playing back to back weekend games in Vancouver and Edmonton.  It wears on you.

I went through several 82-game seasons with the Pistons and some nights you don’t who you are, let alone where you are. The Pistons schedule was grueling but it was not Red Wings grueling because at least they played in the Eastern Conference. Teams like New York, Philadelphia and Washington should enjoy long home winning streaks. They can take the subway to some away games.

The Wings should be in the East. Most of us want that and most of us realize that is the right place for them to be. But the Wings sent a strong message to Bettman. You can play your games but you cannot stop us.

Did you see the video of the dad pumping bullets into his 15 year old daughter’s computer because of something she published on Face book?

A bunch of parents applauded the man. Others were outraged. I understand we become upset with our children. My daughter Celine has a mouth on her and sometimes you want to strangle her. But you cannot humiliate your child this way in public. More than 23 million people have seen the dad blow up her laptop with a 45 pistol and most parents approved of his message.

This dude was very angry during his eight minute video. It is a new way of corporal punishment that is new to our world. What ever happened to the days when kids were grounded or you had to pick out your own switch for that spanking across the legs? It is another sign that our world has really changed.

Back in the day you were punished by being banned to your room. Today, kids want to be in their rooms because they have I-pods, computers, Skype and all other gadgets and programs to play with. Our punishment for our children is no Internet or no electronics. I was punished with a spanking and told to read in my room.

I get mad at Celine at times. We box and argue. But after a few minutes we make up and everything is fine. I would never shoot up her computer on the Internet. I’d be punishing myself because ultimately I would end up buying her a new computer because I am not only a dad but I am a bit of a sucker.

I hope my girl Lauren who is a waitress and bartender at Mixx Sports Bar in Novi doesn’t get in trouble with her bosses.

It was my idea for her to try a breakfast of Loopy and milk today as she begins the morning shift there. What is Loopy and milk, you ask? It is a new drink I want her to try and then tell the world what is is like. Loopy is a new vodka drink from Three Olives that tastes like Fruit Loops. They let me try a small sample during my visit Saturday night after Sports fest which was sponsored by my radio station 971 The Ticket.

I see all these new flavored drinks and they sound interesting. There are vodkas flavored with orange, vanilla, blue berry and root beer. The other day a woman gave me a sample of Jack Daniels honey and it tasted great also. I love the new concepts but I do not know what to mix with them. Some of the drinks are sipping drinks. And some should be mixed, but I never know what to flavor them with.

I usually drink beer when I am in a bar setting, but now and then I want to relax to a mixed drink. The new flavors seem inviting but they are confusing. What do you mix with them besides Sprite and cranberry juice. I think that is what Laura, not to be confused with Lauren, gave me when I went to Mixx. It was great but I am intimidated by the new flavors.

If I order a root beer vodka should I have an A@W foot long hot dog with that? Do I mix a little raspberry with my chocolate drink?

I used to be a bartender way back in the day, but my specialty drinks were rum and coke and Slo Gin Fizz. Do they even make those any more? Would a bartender know what I’m talking about or would they make fun of me?

The industry has changed so much. Bartenders can make drinks that taste like frosted flakes, Cocoa Puffs and ham a eggs. I don’t know if we go to the bar any more to relax or have a Breakfast of Champions.

I will return to Mixx soon for a big bowl of Loopy and milk. Do you think I can get an omelet and hash browns with that?

My garage door now looks like an accordion.

It is more than 15 years old and has been rolled up and down and back and forth thousands of times. It has been slammed shut and backed into by a car. My son B has used it as a training ground for tennis and my daughter Celine bangs soccer balls off it. Poor guy said enough. Someone please take my life.  I can go on no further.

I guess my fingers will be walking through the Yellow Pages looking for a garage door place. Oh wait! Do they even have Yellow Pages any more?

Sometimes the dryer works. And sometimes it hums. Sometimes it stops and sometimes it churns. But old Betsy is saying “my final days are coming.” It is going to join that great Maytag repair grave in the sky.  It too is on its last leg and I’ve begun the process of finding a replacement.

The motor on her sister washing machine gave up three months ago. The wife did not want to buy a new machine at the time so we installed a new motor. The repairman said we are living on borrowed time. She too could go at any time. There is evidence of that. Old Suzie works, but sometimes she farts. I kid you not. It is humming along and all of a sudden it lets out a loud “bap.” It sounds like it ate beans the previous night.

It is only a matter of time.

It is fun being a home owner. And sometimes it becomes a pain in the pocket book. We will be eating franks and beans for a while as we make costly replacements to the house. Everything seems to go all at once. The refrigerator and dish washer walked to heaven together. The windows and side door went at the same time.

The carpet turned into the Joe Louis Arena ice right about the time the shower heads turned to Niagara Falls East.

It is time for me to go shoppping to keep my house together. Oh and did I tell you we might need a roof this summer?

I am holding my crying children in my arms. They are scared and scarred for life.

My wife is stuck on the roof of our house. We are trying to reach the neighbors because we have not heard from them for hours. I do not know if we can survive this. And if this is the end of the Foster family I simply want to say I love you guys and thank you for supporting me during my media career. I love my wife. I love my kids and I love my community. And dammit!! I will say it. I love me some me.

Death Storm 2012 hit us and left our property devastated and dilapidated. What is the number to All State again?

Seriously folks, they got us again. I think there are like 12 snow flakes placed strategically around our property. Who are these people that predict the weather? It was on the national news for heaven sakes talking about this band of snow flurries that was going to hit Chicago, Detroit and the rest of Michigan. We were supposed to get 3-8 inches.

This is a conspiracy by the government. When they want to stimulate the economy they parade another death storm so we will rush out and buy batteries, food and water.  My poor son wanted to know if the birthday party he was invited to will go on as scheduled? I don’t know buddy. Our cars might not be able to get through this death storm.

Sometimes being a parent is about making tough decisions or compromises. I found myself in that predicament Saturday night when one child wanted to stay at a party and be with her friends while another was breaking down and wanted to go home. I call it the two on one break down.

Here is the situation. My daughter Celine celebrated a three show run of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream coat at Gino’s restaurant in Keego Harbor. The Abbott Middle School Theater played at West Bloomfield High School and it was an amazingly good production filled with music, professional looking props and special effects. Celine is a seventh grader and played a nice but minor role in the production. The eighth graders were great.

Afterwards the parents and children went to Gino’s. I took Celine and my son Brandon to the post production party for pizza and bread sticks. Brandon was fine for the first half hour but after we ate he wanted to go home. Celine was still enjoying a good time with her cast mates was in no mood to leave. And after all the work they went through I did not want to cut her fun short. Believe me when I say these kids worked their tails off for an entire week.

She missed three days of school for all-day sessions and they had regular practice from 6-9 pm four nights last week.

Back at Gino’s Celine was giddy and Brandon grumpy.

“I am tired,” he said. “Can you tell Celine we want to leave?”

I missed out on International Pancake Day. I love pancakes but do not eat them as much as I used to.

My breakfast consist mostly of cereal and fruit. But now and then I get some good old fashion pancakes and they really hit the spot. My favorite are blueberry pancakes with the blueberry compote from the International House of pancakes. Man those things are sweet and are filled with flavor.

The best pancakes I’ve ever had was at this place called Moose McGillicuddy’s in Hawaii. These things were the size of SUV rims and just as thick. I ate the entire stack and they had to wheel me out of the place. If you are in Hawaii you should go. Besides, I love the name also. And I heard their happy hour is fun although I would not mix Long Island Iced Teas with pancakes and syrup. The sugar rush might kill you on the spot.

I am taking the wife there this summer and I am just as excited to hit the Moose as I am the beach.

Do you want to hear something strange? Sometimes I am in the mood for waffles and sometimes I am in the mood for pancakes. They are the same thing. They are just shaped differently. But I swear that waffles and pancakes do not taste the same. The Sun Rise Cafe in Farmington Hills has a nice waffle with infused pecans or raisins.

Now I am in the mood for pancakes. I might have some for breakfast today with Little B. It should be fun. Where are your favorite spots for pancakes?

I could tell my friend in Florida was upset. There were long pauses between conversations.

“What’s up,” I asked.

“Nothing,” she said.

I told her I was not stupid and for the next 15 minutes her story unfolded. I will change names to protect people, but her daughter Darla is a member of the high school cheer team. She is a sophomore and has always enjoyed jumping on couches and screaming. She is a cute and dainty child who is now beginning to discover womanhood.

The other night she had a couple of her cheer buddies over for a sleep over. They enjoyed pizza, went through some cheers and watched television. It was a typical girls night filled with laughter and stupid talk about boys and school and how they hated Mr. Dumplings the principal. It was past midnight when mom went upstairs to tell the girls to knock it off and go to sleep.

When she did mom caught two of the girls kissing. Their bottoms were on but their tops were off.  They stopped and turned red and said they were just playing around.

Later the daughter admitted that three or four of the girls on a 25 member cheer squad kiss sometimes and that the girls touched each other on the breast, but that is as far as they went. There was no sex. It was just girls exploring.

The mom told me she never did that as a child. She grew up in a strict family in Michigan and never dreamed of doing something like that because her family would kill her. She wanted to know if she had a problem or was this just girls exploring one another and that this will disappear? I admitted I had no answers.  I did not know if this was a problem or a phase.

The mom said it doesn’t bother her if Darla is bi-sexual, gay or straight. She was just shocked to see what she did.

I asked if it would bother if Darla kissed a boy. She said no. But it is the semi-nudity that worried her. She wants to end all sleepovers.

I bring this to the people. What do you think about this? I would love to hear from parents with teenage girls. Do you have advice for my friend? Is this normal behavior for young girls?  I quite frankly did not know what to tell her.  She reads comments here and on my face book and twitter pages.

Can you help or advise?

People often ask me if I grow tired of talking sports. The answer is no. This is what I do.

I write three columns a week for the Detroit News and baby sit Mike Valenti five days a week on 971 FM The Ticket. They are fun jobs that do not burn me out.

People often ask me is it OK for them to approach when I am out. The answer is yes. I enjoy talking to people and you always learn something when you do. My son Little B is not a big fan of it, especially when we run errands together on Saturday and have lunch.

But there were two things that annoyed me a bit Friday night while watching the Michigan game in local sports bars. One guy wanted to talk during the Michigan game and stood between me and television sets showing the game.  I didn’t want to be rude but eventually asked him to move. It was an innocent mistake I suppose. He was a bit lost and did not realize he blocked my view.

When the Michigan-Minnesota game was still in doubt a guy wanted to show me videos of his kid taking batting practice. That could not wait five minutes?  Little B still talks about the dad who sent his 12 year old daughter alone to Jc Penney while he asked me sports questions in the food court at 12 Oaks Mall.

It is difficult to grasp this local celebrity thing. I do not feel like one even though people tell me I am. I am just a dude making a living in the media trying to support my family until the little monsters grow up and leave the house.  It is cool to talk and share laughs and shoot the breeze.

I only ask that you not block my view. And I do not mind watching your kids video. Just not in overtime of a tight game.

He’s at it again. Brandon Inge cannot hit. He cannot get on base and this must be the end of him.

Tigers manager Jim Leyland said Inge’s bat will determine if he makes the ball club next week for Opening Day. Well his bat is silent. Inge is batting .159. There is no way he can be the opening day starting second baseman against the Boston Red Sox. He lost his job to Danny Worth and Ramon Santiago.

They are better, more valuable and they are better.

The Tigers are in it to win it and they cannot have dead weight holding them back. Currently the Tigers carry 5-1 favorites to win the World Series. Only the Philadelphia Phillies have lower odds at 4-1. So the Tigers are serious about winning but in order to pull this off they need all hands on deck.

My broadcast partner Mike Valenti maintains that Inge will start at second base. I believe he is a fool but if he is right then Tiger fans need to react. You cannot sit there and cheer the man. You must send a message to General Manager Dave Dombrowski, Manager Jim Leyland and owner Mike Ilitch.

You must send a message that you are not happy. I don’t normally promote booing but you have to do something.  The Tigers listen to their fans when you actually say something. Now is the time if Inge is in the starting line up. Just don’t sit there and accept this. He is baked and should be gone.

Another child was shot and killed in Detroit last night. And there will be no protest or outrage. No one will wear a hoodie or carry a picket sign in protest.

We should. I would love to tell you the child’s name and age but I cannot. The 12 or 13 year old was shot around 3 in the morning, was doused with gasoline and set on fire. The body was so badly burned that police do not know if it is male or female. A tear came to my eye just writing this. My daughter is 12 years old about to turn 13. This hits close to home.

It will just be another face that comes and goes in the media unless it was a black child killed by a white person or a white child killed by a black person. It seems as if the only time we become angry with murder is if it is a hate crime with race involved. The way I look at it is a death is a death. Isn’t every murder a hate crime? The Rev. Jesse Jackson said something interesting on WDIV Thursday morning.

It went something like this. If it is a white on black crime it is revolt time. If it is a white on white crime or a black on black crime it is Miller Time. In other words we move on, have that drink at the bar and forget about it. Life has no value any more unless it is a hate crime.

There are some who criticize me because I do not live in the city of Detroit. I did for a long time until I started thinking about family, schools and safety of my family. I can afford to live in a nice safe community. Excuse me for that. I have two children that I love very much. I want to make sure they are safe and I want to make sure they get the best education they can.

The other day I was standing in line at a bulk food store waiting my turn to purchase dried cherries and raw almonds. I was second in line waiting for the guy in front of me to pay and leave.

He asked the man behind the counter if he was having a good day.

“Yes I am,” the counterman said.

“Oh that’s too bad,” the guy replied.

I thought it was strange but shrugged and continued to wait in line.

“That will be $9.75,” the man behind the counter said.

“You are an ass,” the customer replied. “I hope you have a bad day. Bleep you.”

The man paid and left.

I was dumbfounded by now. You never hear anything like this during a simple transaction. The counterman told me this guy comes in three to four days a week and insults him. He dogs the way he looks. He does not like the way he dresses and is just a jerk. The counterman told me he knows it is coming but he says nothing because he wants to keep his job.

We’ve heard that the customer is always right. But it can’t be in this case. Don’t you think ownership should step in and protect its employee? Do you really have to put up with this abuse on the job?

Many people probably do. I feel sorry for the gate attendant when flights are delayed. It is not that person’s fault but they sure do get the abuse.  I guess rude behavior is part of the business for dealing with the public. I can’t imagine how much abuse a waitress or bartender gets around drunk people. It is probably pretty bad.

I get yelled at by customers on radio. The good thing is I get to yell back.

How does your boss handle prickish customers? Do you have to take it or does your boss have your back?

Today should be a great day. It is Championship Monday. Kentucky is expected to beat Kansas in the national championship game. I can’t wait to see that.

The Red Wings are finalizing things before making a final push towards the Stanley Cup playoffs. And in just a few days we get to see Prince Fielder, Miguel Cabrera and a real Tigers lineup hit the field against the Boston Red Sox.

And did I tell you the weather is getting nice?

There are so many things to think about or talk about as the spring blooms into full bloom. But do you know what I am going to end up talking about today on the Valenti and Foster Show on 971 The Ticket?

Brandon Inge.

Yes, we will end up talking about a career .234 hitter because that is what this town does. We are all guilty of wasting time on the gift that keeps on giving.

We don’t know if the Tigers are going to cut him or keep him, release him or waive him. Will they buy him out or let this whole thing play out? We will talk Inge today on the radio because he conviently has a groin injury that Inge hurt recently. He had a similar injury during the offseason and he said it kept him from his workouts for four or five days.

If money or loyalty or name recognition were not a factor the Tigers should cut ties with Inge and give Danny Worth a try. Inge batted .197 last season and hitting .180 in spring training. Tigers manager Jim Leyland said the decision to keep Inge would be based on his hitting.

Well Helloooooooooo!! The dude is not hitting again. Inge said he is hitting the ball on the screws and is not getting breaks. I talked to someone in Lakeland and they said that might be true but Inge is hitting a lot of ground balls to short stop and lazy pop flies to the outfield. The Tigers need more from Inge or whomever takes his spot.

This isn’t a team playing baseball simply to entertain us. The Tigers are looking to win a World Series. They need as complete a team as possible to pull it off. Inge just isn’t cutting it.

Let me make a confession. And if it makes me a square then so be it.

I’ve never bought weed in my life.  And I don’t even know where to get it. I really don’t care to know.

But it sure was in the news Tuesday. There were so many reports of athletes with weed that I think the Detroit News just hired an athletes on weed beat to keep up. It was crazy. And stupid.

Three Lion players have been caught with the stuff since the season ended. Then Michigan State forward Derrick Nix got caught with drugs in his car and has been suspended indefinitely from the Spartans basketball team.  They caught Lions running back Mikel Leshoure twice in one month.  Defensive tackle Nick Fairley topped that by getting stopped twice in one day on traffic violations. The second time they caught him with weed.

So one of two things happened. The Mobile Alabama police did not catch him with the weed the first time. Or he was on his way to the drug man when they stopped him the first time. How do you get caught for a traffic violation, say good bye officer, and then go speeding around a neighborhood?

I don’t know what is more stupid. Fairley’s actions or LSU football player Morris Claiborne scoring a 4 on the Wonderlic test.

We’ve talked about this on the radio and a couple of people suggested that head coach Jim Schwartz has lost control of the team. I disagree. If you think this is the first time a Lions player has lit up a fatty then you are nuts. Pro athletes smoke dope. The smart ones do it in the privacy of their home and don’t drive around mobile pharmacies.

I don’t say Schwartz has lost control. I say the Lions drafted players who are young and dumb. No wonder the White Castle drive thru near the Lions practice facility did record business.  And shame on Nix. He said he wanted to be the Spartans senior leader next season. Good luck with that one pal.

I am not going to stand up on my soap box and say athletes should not smoke dope. We know they are. Just be smarter about it, especially if you wear a Detroit or state of Michigan uniform.

First she fell inside the restaurant. The woman tried to get up from her chair at American Coney Island but her legs were made of rubber.

Splat!

I saw the scene unfold in front of me but I was too busy enjoying my evening treat. People looked up with concern as the drunk woman struggled to get on her feet. Finally her friend and another guy helped her up. It was time for this one to go home.

Like most drunks she was a little indignant.

“I can make it on my own,” she said.

All she had to do was navagate a one block walk to the Westin Hotel. Her friend wanted to call a cab. The woman said she could make it. Of course she stopped at my table to ask how I was doing. I told her to be careful and not to drive.

“Oh no honey. I am just going to walk to my hotel room. I will be alright. Hey you are kind of cute.”

“I am taken,” I replied.

FYI. Even if I wasn’t taken it was not happening.

I didn’t know I was watching a basketball game when I saw Nashville Predators defenseman Shea Weber dribble Red Wings forward Henrik Zetterberg’s head against the boards during the final moments of the Wings 3-2 opening game loss Wednesday night in Nashville.

It was the final seconds of the game and the Wings were desperately trying to tie the score with an extra attacker when Weber pounded Zetterberg’s head into the boards twice. Commissioner Gary Bettman and his boy Frank Brown saw it. We all saw it and here is the way I see it. Weber should be suspended in Game 2.

But we all know that he wasn’t and it is a shame. Instead Weber was fined $2,500 which is like asking you for a quarter for punching somebody in the face. It was a slap on the wrist and really does nothing to deter this from happening again. One of the problems is the czar of punishment Brandan Shanahan is a former Red Wing and coming down on Weber might have been viewed as favoritism.

Maybe he could have taken himself off the case or made the decision by committee.

That was a vicious and dangerous move that should be punished. It was too late to call a penalty in the game. You cannot call a two-minute minor that carries over to Game 2, but you can suspend Weber. There is a lack of regard amongst NHL players. They don’t seem to care about the damage they can cause on the ice until they are off the ice. They smash opponents illegally and then step in front of the cameras with those soft voices and doe eyes and plead their innocence. And for the most part the public buys into it.

Weber said he was glad Zetterberg was not injured. I wonder if he was thinking that when he did that cross over dribble with Z’s head?

Weber said he was retaliating for a Zetterberg hit to his back. He also said Wings forward Todd Bertuzzi was busting up his teammates.

Reporters asked Weber if he thought he would be punished by the league.

“I don’t know,” he said. “He hit me from behind. So we’ll see.  I don’t know.”

I really don’t care what Weber has to say. It is time for him to pay and sit for a game.

If he does not sit, which will probably be the case, then the Red Wings need to step up and rough Weber up a bit. I am not talking Darren McCarty and Claude Lemieux to start the game. But they need to send a message that this type of rough stuff to one their better players won’t be tolerated. They punked out earlier in the season when goalie Jimmy Howard got run. They cannot do it again.

Everybody knows it happened. The Wings saw it and they were talking about it. So now we get to see if there will be some justice.

There was this kid, just a little older than us making news with his hands at Olympia Stadium.

His name was Tommy Hearns and we thought we knew him. There was a kid that grew up in my near west side Detroit neighborhood named Tommy Hearns. We’d gone to school with him at Pattengill Elementary School and he just disappeared, which often happened.

“Could this be our Tommy Hearns? He was such a nice kid and would not hurt a fly,” we said.

As it turned out it was not. This was a dude who grew up east of us but we quickly adopted him as one of our own. He was the Hit Man (We did not like Motor City Cobra) and he was making news around he city. The country did not know about this one punch knock out specialist who seemed to be fighting every other month.

But we knew he’d make news. He did and became one of Detroit’s greatest sports icons. People loved Tommy’s passion in the ring. He won multiple World titles and he was Detroit’s own. I believe he was born in Tennessee but as far as we were concerned Tommy was just like a bottle of Faygo. He was bottled and flavored in Detroit.

Tuesday night I smelled the stale fog of cigarette smoke for the first time in quite sometime. I attended a fundraiser at Greek town Casino and was taken back at the smell of smoke.

It’s been a while. And I didn’t like it.

I have not been in a casino for months so I am not used to the smell of smoke because the state of Michigan has a non smoking ban in place for every bar and restaurant not associated with a casino. So I’ve been bee bopping in sports bars and restaurants without that stale smell that I despise.

I am glad the law is in place but even I will admit that it is unfair. I love going to the bar, having a few drinks and not smelling of smoke. It feels a lot better driving home without the smell of smoke soaked in your cloths and skin. My wife would not allow me in bed until I took a shower.  However, how can you have a law that allows casinos to ignore a law while everybody else must abide by it?

That is not right and that is not fair.

That’s why I would never snitch on a bar that allows smoking. I’ve seen people smoke inside bars about five or six times in the last year and I say nothing. Some places say they are struggling because of the smoking ban. So why give casinos every advantage while the small guy has to abide by the law?

That is the unfair part about it. It is one more example of how government takes care of the big guys and makes it tougher for the smaller guys.  I do not like smoking. But I also do not like the smoking ban. It is not right.

I am like the rest of you. I just don’t get the Lions 2012 draft.

I don’t know why they didn’t bring in more impact defensive players. I do not know why they drafted an injured wide receiver in the second round and I am looking for answers. I think offense is wonderful and exciting but teams are not title contenders until their defense is stout. That is my belief although Green Bay and New England bucked that trend last season.

I simply know at the end of the day it was the defensive-minded New York Giants that won the Super Bowl following a so-so regular season.

The Lions needed offensive lineman Riley Reiff because Gosder Cherilus is a bad right tackle and left tackle Jeff Backus does not have much tread on the tires. The Lions needed wide receiver Ryan Broyles because Nate Burleson is probably gone after next season and Broyles can be a nice possession receiver.

But I really wanted them to shore up the defensive back field. The Lions brought in guys we’d never heard of. Dwight Bentley or Little Bill or whatever his name is is a tiny nickle back with speed and small hands. My folks in the MIAA said Albion’s Chris Greenwood is a freakish athlete who runs like the wind. But isn’t anybody who runs a 4.4 in the MIAA a freakish athlete? When you look back on it the Lions are trying to solve their defensive backfield problems with guys from Louisiana-Lafayette and Albion. That is hardly Alabama or LSU.

I am not saying they are not good. I am just saying.

I do believe Oklahoma defensive end Ronnell Lewis will make an impact. He makes a lot of tackles but he misses a lot of tackles and needs to get more physical. But that is what weight rooms and training camp are for.

The Detroit News did a cyber survey and 79 percent of voters said the Lions draft was good to so-so. Only five percent thought it was great. Place me in the so-so category.

The Lions kept saying they were drafting the best available player. I guess the question I would like Martin Mayhew and Jim Schwartz to answer is how does this draft make the Lions better?

I am not ticked off about the draft. I simply want more answers. Mayhew has some street cred with me because he turned around a terrible franchise. So I stand here with question marks swimming around my head. But I also know the guy has done some great things for this franchise.

I heard an interesting story about a professional Detroit athlete who pulled the “Don’t you know who the bleep I am card?”

The funny thing is he is not that well known. But I will protect his identity. He wanted to get into a bar and forgot his ID. The woman who was checking ID said she needed to know how old he was. She could not let him in because he looked young.

He became angry and pulled out the “Don’t you know who the bleep I am card?”

How sad. Why do athletes believe they are entitled to so much? And why do they give so little? I’ve heard too many stories of well paid athletes going to bars and restaurants and not tipping. Or they run up big bills and leave a couple of bucks on the table. Tiger Woods who is still nearly a half a billionaire after Elin is reportedly a poor tipper.

That is silly.

The other day I could not remember if I tipped somebody because I was in a rush. I could not sleep thinking about it. But I finally realized I did and felt better about it. I plan on leaving something extra next time I go there just to make sure.

Here is one thing athletes need to understand. Everybody does not know who they are. Everybody does not have a 100 percent recognition rating, not even the president. I know I do not even though I’ve become a twink-let in this town. A few people know who I am but I do not try to take advantage of that.

Let me give you an example. I was standing in line to get into a sports bar a few months ago. The bouncer sees me and says he’d be fired if his boss saw me standing in line.

It happened again a few weeks later at another place.  A few days ago I waited a few minutes to get into the Town Pump. I did not bogart my way to the front of the line. I waited. I too forgot my ID. The guy did not know who I was and did not let me in. I guess that was my opportunity to play the “don’t you know who the bleep I am card?”

I did not. I simply walked across the street and had a good time.

I did not make a scene. I did not act an ass. Was it really that insulting?

I know a bunch of people who don’t know who the bleep I am. I can wait in line like everybody else.

My wife Abs doesn’t work but she works too hard if that makes sense.

She is the president of the PTO. She is involved in two charity organizations and she is the one who schedules some of my appearances and charity events. Last week she went on a brutal five-day bus ride with my daughter Celine on a bus. She was in charge of the fun run at Brandon’s school and she went to two other meetings.

And during that time I wasn’t exactly hanging around the house in my underwear because of my two jobs.

I could tell she was stressed.

After the kids went to bed I drove to Kroger and bought 10 mini bottles of cheap wine that cost me a whopping $10 total. I placed two bottles in the freezer, cut up some cheese and put them on crackers and placed green grapes in a bowl. Her face lit up when I came in with my cheapie late night party for two.

It wasn’t much but it meant all the world to her and me.

Back in the day I used to sneak off to California for a long distance relationship with my girl Miss Lemons. She got the nick name because she grew these huge lemons in her backyard.

We met in San Francisco and various other cities but she was a bit nervous when I visited her home town. She told me about her friends Johnathon and Robert. They were her two best friends and she hoped that I liked them. When I got there we went to their apartment which overlooked a beautiful valley. They were lovers who lived together and were planning a life together.

She asked me what I thought. I told her I did not care. It was like the weight of the world was lifted off her shoulders. She simply wanted me to accept her friends.

I really do not care who you sleep with. I do not care who you fall in love with. It is just not on the top of my radar. If somebody is cool with me, I am cool with them. Currently there are a lot of angry words being exchanged after President Obama said he supported gay marriage.

His Republican challenger Mitt Romney immediately came out and said a man should be with a woman. I suppose both men have strong reasons to believe what they do. If two gay people want to get married I am OK with that. It does not affect me. It does not hurt me. It does not bother me.

If you are against gay marriage, I understand your position.

Who am I to tell you who to be with? That is none of my business. I just want people to be happy. There is so much misery in the world and too many people looking for love. If you find it then grab onto it.

The whole gay thing used to bother me when I was a youth. There was a gay guy named Ezelle who used to flamboyantly walk through the neighborhood wearing all kinds of outrageous costumes. He had boyfriends. We used to laugh at him. Then one day we just stopped making fun of him and most of the neighborhood accepted him. He never bothered anybody. He’d help people with chores. So why were we dissing him?

Parents disown their children because of who they date and who they want to be with. That will never happen with me. If you find love no matter the size, package of gender I support you.

There were two bad incidents on the soccer pitch this weekend and I would love to hear your thoughts on them.

Of course I will tell you mine.

1. Celine’s soccer team beat a team 5-0 in the Novi Jaguars Tournament and there was controversy at the end. The backup coach left early in the second half because he had a long day and the game was decided a long time ago. He asked me and another parent to monitor the team. We did. After the game I said congrats to the team and when I saw how frizzed Celine’s hair was I quipped “that a sparrow could live in your hair.” It looked like a bird’s nest and the girls laughed.

During the team hand shake of our girls said to the coach. “Good coaching.”

He went off. He said our team was disrespectful because of her comment. And that we were mocking and making fun of his team. He said he did not appreciate us laughing at them. I stepped in and told him we were not laughing at his team. He would have none of it and after screaming at the other parent, he stalked off and talked to his team.

Let me make a confession. I love hamburgers. I couild eat one every day.

So the people who are running Sunday’s Motown Burger Battle didn’t have to ask twice when they wanted me to be one of the judges at the Carriage House Pavillion at Pine Knob in Clarkston. I get to taste creations by some of the best chefs in metro Detroit. The best thing is it is for charity and I would love for you to come by to taste great burgers and golf, if you are interested.

Golf begins at 8 in the morning. The other festivities run from noon until 3 pm. The cost for golf and the Burger Battle is $80. If you just want to participate in burger battle it is $30 and $15 for children 12 and under. All proceeds benefit Justin’s Vision, a charity that gives dream vacations for children with life threatening illnesses along with their families.

So I get to eat burgers for a good cause. I am always on the look out for a great burger. Some of my favorites around town are Hunter House, Miller’s in Dearborn, Cutter’s Bar and Grill in Eastern Market, Union Wood Shop in Clarkston, Oak Cafe in Wyandotte and Five Guys. If you have more suggestions I am all eyes and ears.

Here are the competitors

Chef James Rigato of the Root Restaurant in White Lake, Chef Bob Roberts and Sous Chef Jason of McShane’s in Detroit, Chef Dean Bach and Dino’s Kitchen Magician at Dino’s Lounge (Ferndale), Chef Steve Mallie at Mallie’s Sports Bar and Grill (Southgate) and the Union Wood Shop in Clarkston.

Boxing promotor and first Lady of Boxing Jackie Kallen will emcee the event. The judges include Chris Franz of the Rattlesnake Club, Marc Djozlija formerly of Wolfgang Puck, Dave Benjamin of The Hungry Dude and Jess Bartol of Sweet Layla June Catering.

For ticket information go to burgerbattle.eventbrite.com. Also visit justinsvision.org

Saturday was a near perfect day. The weather was beautiful. There was not a cloud in the sky.

I got to spend much of it at Comerica Park watching the Tigers and then went to the Detroiter for a burger and beer. People were out and having a great time and I was really enjoying the day even though the Tigers lost again.

And then it happened. I am walking to my car near the Millender Center when I noticed a group of teenagers walking down the street. I did not give it much thought and kept walking. All of a sudden police cars swooped in and two officers jumped out and tackled a guy to the ground and put him in handcuffs.

Others scrambled and there was chaos in the streets of Detroit. And I could not help but think about this wonderful day and all the great things that were going on in Detroit. Maybe I am dumb and naive but how the heck do you get arrested on a great day like this when you come downtown to hang out?

Let me try to understand the mind set. I get up and put on shorts and a T-shirt.  I call my girls to hang out. And then I do something stupid to get arrested? I wonder if it was worth it.

I do not know what the kid did that got arrested. He had that stupid look on his face like he was expecting a visit from the police. He had guilt written all over his face. Maybe this post makes no sense, but I could not help but think what a knucklehead this person was. It was a perfect day in Detroit and this fool decides he wants to spend part of it in the clink.

It makes no sense.

Lion fans are always looking for signs of a great season. That is why I receive globs of email every time the team gets together.

Already people have asked me if the Lions look focused and hungry? Do they look like they are ready to make the next step? I hate to tell you that it is impossible to tell during OTA’s. They are not in pads. They are not running real plays and they are just sort of going through the motions. These practices are not about improving the team. They are about shaking off some rust.

The young guys go all out because they are trying to land jobs. Veterans are trying to stay in shape and get into a repetition. It really does not mean much. I asked veteran cornerback Chris Houston how some of the younger corners are looking and he could not even give me an answer. He doesn’t even know his teammates yet.

“Are you talking about number 33,” he asked when I spoke to him.

You really don’t begin learning about a team until training camp. That is when they come in hot and lathered. That is when you see people competing for jobs and fighting in the heat of summer. Even then you don’t really know about a team until they play against others. The Lions always look good in training camp because they are going up against each other.

The key with the Lions is not what you see during meaningless practices. The key with them is between the ears.

Can they shake off the marijuana problems during summer? Can Ndamukong Suh rebound after an off season and can the offense keep pace with the torrid pace it set last season?

I do not know those answers and OTA’s definitely won’t give you any answers. These practices are more like a bunch of high profile athletes stretching themselves out.

The children were playing some ghost and goblins game. The adults sat by a fire sipping on beer, Tom Collins and shots of Three Olives cake vodka.

The weather was great. The bugs were tame and we were stuffed with ribs, chicken and other good food. Friday really felt like the holiday. The four families that share our backyards were in full force. We didn’t do anything exciting. We laughed and talked and the seven kids that made it out that night ran themselves ragged.

It felt great. It was a great beginning to the Memorial Day Weekend.

It’s been a long haul of work, taking kids to school and concerts and running like your head is cut off. That’s how life is these days for our family. You never seem to get a break. It felt good to unwind and relax underneath a quarter moon and with your family and friends. That’s the way it will be most of the weekend.

Family and friends.

My daughter and I will spend most of Saturday at the Canton Cup. We will then drive to East Lansing to be with my wife’s family. And then it is back Sunday for the Canton Cup.

Are you like me? I don’t need much. I savor the days where I can sip on a beer, look up into the sky and just chill. I don’t need concerts or movies or a thrill ride. I love being out of the public eye sometimes and just do nothing. Most of us work hard. We provide for our families and we do things for our work places.

Everybody deserves a night like Friday. Maybe you had dinner with friends. Maybe you watched the Tigers in your man’s room or took a simple walk with your honey bun. Sometimes life is about taking a good time out and savoring the moment.

The man was loud. He was bold and he was defiant. I could tell he was angry and was one of those fans who only cares about his team winning games.

He spoke out on the Valenti and Foster Show on 971 FM about Nick Fairley and his latest arrest.

“I really don’t care,” the man said. “I just don’t care what he does off the field. The only thing I care about is what he does on the field. That’s it. I don’t care.”

When the man spoke I bet there were hundreds of nodding heads across Metro Detroit. They were giving the guy a thumbs up and applauding his stance. In the grand scheme most fans don’t care if their heroes are choir boys or crack heads. All they want them to do is show up on Sunday, strap on the pads and pound the flesh out of opponents.

I don’t blame them.

However, there is a reason why we should care about what Nick Fairley does off the field. He was driving 100 miles per hour impaired according to police in Alabama. That is a mixture that can cause a disaster. Fairley could harm himself and harm others. And he’s obviously not learned his lesson because a few weeks ago neighbors called police about a car speeding through a Mobile, Ala. neighborhood. It was Fairley and he had marijuana on him.

Last time it was weed. This time it was alcohol.

I’ve never walked across the Belle Isle bridge. I’ve lived here for 53 years, crossed the bridge by car a thousand times but I never actually walked across it until Sunday afternoon after doing my work during the Detroit Belle Isle Grand Prix.

There is never a need to walk across the bridge. You mostly drove to Belle Isle, cruised the island or picnicked and went home. It is a small thing in life but I wanted to do it. I will say this. The bridge appears a lot lower than you think and at certain points it looks like you can reach in and touch the water. I do not recommend it because the Detroit River currents will suck you under and make history of you.

And did you know the bridge is called the Douglas MacArthur bridge, named after the famous American general?

I’ve never been to a Gay Pride event in Detroit. But I went to Detroit Pride Saturday purely by accident. I saw a festival and stopped by. I did not realize it was a Gay Pride event until I stepped into Hart Plaza and gave a $5 donation. It was a fun and colorful event with plenty of house music and strange sights. Some people on twitter got mad at me because I tweeted that I saw a guy that looked like a mix between former NBA player Robert “Tractor” Trailor and Janet Jackson.

There was actually a person that looked that way but I guess I was supposed to keep it to myself. It was fun watching people be themselves but I wondered what life is like for Gay people when they are in every day society? Do people still harrass them or is life better?

I’ve never been to the Mercury bar. There is a reason. I’ve seen the sign for years but it has been closed. Now it is open on Michigan Avenue across from Slows and I liked the place. It is a combination of malt shop, burger joint and bar. I met a few people in there including a woman who invited me to be a judge in the Royal Oak chili eating contest. I think I can handle that.

I did not try the burger there but they looked tempting. One of the bartenders made fun of me because I was talking to so many people. She said that is here job.

I’ve never been to McShanes, also in Corktown. I’ve been to Hoots but the place has changed names and o

I got my first taste of their cooking during a charity event a few weeks ago. I met the owners and vowed to visit. It was a good decision because the fish and chips were great and I loved the atmosphere.

I love doing things for the first time. I wonder what adventures I will get into next.

Jim Leyland is not the problem. Lloyd McClendon is not the problem and Brennan Boesch had a bad thumb nobody knew about.

Prince Fielder is adjusting to American League pitching. Max Scherzer just hit a little glitch and Brandon Inge and Ryan Raburn were holding the team back. It’s still early yet and the bats will perk up. It’s still early yet and the pitching will turn around.

We’ve heard it all, but the bottom line is the Tigers season continues to tumble and they are further and further from first place. Meanwhile your temperature is rising. Tiger fans have gone from concerned to ticked off. The Tigers lost meekly again, 4-2 to the Cleveland Indians Tuesday night.

They went down with hardly a whimper as the bats were silenced again. It got so bad that the Queen of England looked better than the Tigers.  They played without Austin Jackson and Andy Dirks again but these two players were not supposed to be the difference between powerful and punch less.

So when does the magic begin? When does the faucet of wins begin to flood Comerica Park? When does the calvery march in and save the day?

I beginning to think there is no help in sight. This is what the team is.

Meanwhile on twitter I asked how hot are? It is a low simmer right now but you are close to reaching the boiling point. This was supposed to be a summer of fun. There wasn’t supposed to be much of a pennant race because the Tigers were going to run away with this poor division with ease.

Let me make a confession. There are two ladies in my life.

There is my woman and then there is my girl. My woman is my wife Abs of 14 years. I love her and respect her. The girl in my life is my daughter Celine. I love her with all my heart but she often comes between me and my woman and life is difficult at times.

On Friday I watched Celine help her team to a 2-1 come from behind victory over the Rochester Soccer Club. She played well and I was very proud of her. After the game I allowed  her to go with her teammates to a Super Y game at West Bloomfield High School. She was to attend the game and come home. No sleep over and she knew it.

Celine missed some homework assignments for the third or fourth time this school year. Abs was tired of it and rightly banned sleep overs for a month. Abs will let a lot of things go. Academics is not one of them.  Celine knew it. I knew it. So what happens Friday after the game? Celine has her teammate call and say: “Mr. Foster can Celine sleep over?”

I really did not care but if I went against the rule set down by my wife I’d have hell to pay for. And she’d be right. I told the teammate Celine knew better and that there would be no sleep over. Of course they pretended there was a bad connection and they could not hear me.

Wow, that’s the oldest trick in the book.

I wanted Celine to sleep over because it was the weekend and she worked hard that day. But I had to stand by my woman against my girl. I stood my ground and demanded she come home. About 10 that night the door slammed downstairs. I knew Celine had arrived.

She was mad at me. I was mean old dad who hates her. She probably won’t talk to me when she wakes up.

I knew I made the right decision. I do love my girl with all my heart. I truly do. But I got to stand behind momma in circumstances like this. I picked her 15 years ago. And guys you all know this. It is easier to survive when your girl is mad at you then when momma is mad at you — especially when momma is right

I am the big, bad mean guy. At least that is what my daughter Celine thinks of me now.

She is sort of not talking to me but at the same time she does talk to me when she forgets why she is mad at me.

My transgression is I am considering moving her to a different soccer team after five years with the Bloomfield Hills Force. She was in favor of the move during the season. We’d all grown frustrated and wanted to try something new. Moving to a new team is easy but at the same time it is not.

The way it works in soccer is you practice with a team you are interested in playing for. This week Celine will practice with the Michigan Jaguars in Novi and Waza East in Rochester.  It is like going to the bar to pick up girls. You go there and practice. Do you like them? Do they like you?

Saturday and Sunday are tryout days and they are usually stressful for most people.

If it is a match you hook up and become a team for a year. If they don’t like you then you move on to the next club.

I’ve moved my son Brandon a couple of times and it was no big deal. Celine is a different story. She cried after her last game Sunday and in turn so did I. I have a difficult time moving on from something even if I think it is the right thing to do. I grabbed a couple of parents and asked that their daughters remain friends with Celine.

Are you celebrating a little bit? You saw the Miami Heat fall to the Oklahoma City Thunder in Game 1 of the NBA Finals 105-94. Now the hated Heat are three losses away from losing not one but two NBA titles since their version of the Dream Team got together.

People hate the Heat because they hate LeBron James, the guy that made the decision a couple years ago. Many have not let go and they won’t let it go. Villians in sports are nothing new. I was the beat writer for one of the biggest villians in sports history — the Bad Boy Detroit Pistons.

They made three straight NBA Finals and won titles in 1989 and 1990. They were like a rock band on tour during road trips. Crowds around the arena were thicker. People gathered around loading docks just to get a glimpse of the team and yell at them. People threw four letter words at Bill Laimbeer like they were bullets. They did not yell at Laimbeer as much as they spit the words at him.

Michigan football is hated at Ohio State. I went down for a game and wanted to see if the Buckeyes were as crazy as everybody said they were. Oh boy, were they. First of all every Big Ten flag flies at the horseshoe except Michigan. They ever fly Notre Dame’s flag there. The biggest selling T-shirts are Ohio State gear. The second biggest sellers are anti-Michigan shirts.

I saw two women in their 70s stand by the tunnel where Michigan came out and cursed every player. They spoke like sailors and looked like Marines. It was vicious.

Former Piston Dennis Rodman was hated in Chicago until he became a member of the Chicago Bulls. Once someone threw one of those old fashion Coca Cola bottles at him in Chicago Stadium and shattered all over the floor. If it had hit Rodman it would have knocked him out cold.

It is OK to hate teams. That is part of sports. But sometimes we go overboard.

In this case hate is good. Hate will motivate the Heat. Hate will make the Thunder feel good about themselves and more importantly for the NBA, hate will drive up television ratings.

Back in the day my father in law called himself The Player. Now he is The Legend and today’s Father’s Day is all about him.

He is not in good shape. He suffered a heart attack two years ago during hip replacement surgery and there has been a slow and steady decline. His heart is working at less than 30 percent capacity and he sleeps a lot. He will fall asleep on you in a heart beat.

Today we will drive up to East Lansing for dinner with The Legend. We will talk and share laughs and I am betting that seeing his grand kids is the best present we can give him. He has had a lot of things in life. My fear is the one thing he does not have a lot of is time.

“I can see the light at the end of the tunnel,” he told me the other day. “And that light is heaven.”

The Legend raised five children and they’ve all become successful. He ruled with a strict hand but filled that hand with love. I remember when I told him I wanted to marry his daughter Abs, he got choked up. I don’t know if it was because he was happy for her or realized all the torment she’d have marrying a silly guy like me.

People around Michigan State University know him as the guy with the thundering voice. He sounds like James Earl Jones — just louder. The voice is still there. His memories of growing up in Cleveland and his days at Ohio State and Michigan State are still there.  He is a good dude, the kind of guy that everybody loves.

There is no gift I can give him but friendship and the kids. We know he loves his grand children and their warmth and love is all we can give him now. Even though I am a father of two, this Father’s Day is not about me. It is about The Legend.

Happy Father’s Day.

Today the Foster family attempts the impossible. We are going to attempt to have a flawless airlines experience.

We are headed to Orlando for the family vacation mostly to go to Universal Studios so my daughter Celine can see the Harry Potter experience. She knows almost as much about Harry Potter as Harry Potter himself. We know that will be a great experience. What we don’t know is how will the airline experience be.

We have our printed boarding passes in hand. I’ve already paid for the luggage and I’m prepared to take off my shoes, belt, pants, hat and anything else they want me to take off during security check. The Foster family is prepared but I know something weird is going to happen. I just don’t know what.

I love to fly. Back in the day I used to cover the Pistons and was in planes all the time. There were flights from hell and I almost didn’t make a couple of games but for the most part airline travel was good. It has declined these days. The seats are too small, the planes too jammed and flying today is more akin to taking the subway in New York City.

ORLANDO — I woke up today tired, sore and barely able to move. That is a good thing. It simply means we walked a lot during the Foster tour of Universal Studio Island of Adventure on Wednesday.

The best part is Celine had a smile on her face the entire day. She is a Harry Potter freak and loved her visit to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and the town of Hogsmeade. Celine gave both a thumbs up and the wait to visit the castle and ride a broom stick and battle monsters is worth it.

But that was not the highlite for Celine. She waited an hour to purchase a magic wand that a wizard picked out especially for her. I didn’t think that was worth the $34 to do all that but she loved it. Meanwhile the men (me and Little B) ditched the ladies and went on a couple of water splash rides and ate at some of the concession stands.

Here is my recommendations if you come here. Get the butter beer frozen not cold. Both are good but there is something about the frozen version. It is the drink of choice among the Potter kids. Do not get the butter beer at the first kiosk you see. The lines in the second one behind the castle is shorter. If you are willing to pay cash flag down the guy who is delivering drinks and you can avoid the lines.

Do the castle first and then do all the other rides. The lines were 55 minutes when we arrived. We tricked around with another ride and watched the line grow from 55 minutes to 90 in a 10 minute span.
Purchase tickets online and print them out. You save yourself 10-20 minutes.

Throw away the key.

That is my initial thought about former Penn State assistant coach and head pedophile Jerry Sandusky who was convicted on 45 counts of child molestation. What he did was sick and it is one of the worst crimes in the history of crimes. And I do not believe friends and family members who said all these testified against Sandusky for money.

You mean nothing happened? They did this for money against an innocent man?

He faces sentencing in about three months and there should be no probation or suspended sentences for him. I don’t suppose burn in hell is one of the sentence options the jury can recommend.

He took advantage of young, vulnerable boys who didn’t know better. He abused them mentally as well as physically. Shame on him. What a creep. The verdict came when I was with my family at Disney World. I was at Hollywood Studios when we heard the verdict. At Disney you see lots of happy families walking around and enjoying the place.

But you also see kids with cancer and kids who are having miserable lives, who are enjoying a little bit of happiness. They are leading tough lives and the trip to Disney is just a little respite from their lives. There are kids with no families or kids with families who struggle just to make ends meet. Sandusky mostly picked on kids with no families or are estranged from them.

I returned from the family trip Sunday in time to see the magic of Justin Verlander who guided the hot and cold Tigers to a 3-2 victory over Pittsburgh.

He gave up five hits, struck out seven and made one mistake when he gave up a two-run home run that tied the game. But I am not here to rehash what Verlander did. He seems like money on the mound and money in the bank. While watching Verlander I got into a personal debate.

Who is Detroit’s most important athlete? I did not say the best, although you have to be pretty darn good to be part of this discussion. But who is the guy that  makes the most impact on the Detroit sports scene?

There are three major candidates in my book. They are Matthew Stafford and Calvin Johnson of the Lions and Verlander. They not only represent Detroit on the field but represent off the field also. Stafford and Johnson are record breaking players who can express and market themselves. Johnson has made great strides on the field but I was also impressed with the way he handled media responsibilities during the NFL Draft and his marketing with Madden 2013.

Johnson is no longer the soft spoken shy giant that came to Detroit. He is more outspoken and seems ready to put Detroit on the map. He is also a damn good wide receiver, unlike anyone we’ve seen before. He reminds me of former Lions wide receiver Herman Moore except he is bigger, faster, stronger and better.

Stafford, meanwhile, could become the best Lions quarterback in history. That includes Bobby Layne who the old timers carry a torch for because he was part of the Lions championship run in 1957. But Stafford is already better than him. The position has evolved into the premier position in football.  Layne could never throw a football like Stafford.

Stafford and Johnson are exciting to watch but there is just something about JV. You cannot turn him off and it is amazing to see how he handles a baseball. People talk about the heat he brings, but my favorite pitch is that 12-6 curve ball that snaps into the strike zone and buckles the knees of just about anybody who faces him. I just love watching the guy pitch. I would love to take a turn at the plate just to see what it looks like.

There is a public address commercial on television where a high school basketball player admits a referee made the wrong call that would benefit his team. The player runs over to the coach and tells him that the ball went off his finger tips in a crucial moment of the game and that his opponent should have possession of the ball.

His teammates protest but at the end the coach turns to his player and tells him “good call.” The guy then trots over to the official and tells him what really happened.

That brings us to New York Yankees Dewayne Wise, the fake catch artist. Should he be catching heat for pretending to make a catch he didn’t make?

Here is what happened. Wise tumbled into the stands in pursuit of a foul ball hit by Cleveland’s Jack Hannahan. Umpire Mike DiMuro signaled catch although Wise did not catch the ball. Instead of telling the umpire he did not have the ball, he sheepishly ran off the field and acted as if he made the grab.

In the name of sportsmanship Wise should have told the umpire he did not make the grab. In the name of big business he did the right thing in running off the field. You’ve heard the old saying in sports: “If you ain’t cheating you ain’t trying.” This is really a sticky delimna of what’s right for the team and what’s right. Wise said he didn’t want to laugh and upstage the umpire, which is a crock. He did it to get his team out of a seventh inning jam.

“Baseball’s already hard, so if someone gives something to you, you’ve got to take it,” said San
Francisco Giants first baseman Brandon Belt. “He did what everybody else would have done: get off the field and not say anything.”

I do not hang out Downriver all the time. I do not have Downriver girl friends but the tales of my alleged Downriver exploits are fun to hear. We even have a designated Downriver Debbie although her real name is Nancy.

Friday night I attended a charity event in Wayne and went to two places called US-12 and Jake’s Next Door. One of the first things I heard from people is “this is not quite Downriver but you are close.”

We all got a good chuckle. I even got introduced to a woman simply because she is a promoter who lives in Allen Park. Now all of this nonsense was started by my radio partner Mike Valenti. When he roars about something it is difficult to stop the tide so I just accept that I am a Downriver rat looking for Downriver mice.

Most of this began when we did Thursday night appearances at Mallie’s and Malarkey’s in Southgate. The adventures were fun and the people we met were wonderful. I even got kidnapped once. Maybe that is a future blog. The whole Downriver thing began for an area that is not talked about much in mainstream media around here.

Momma was struggling. Abs hurt her back some how. She was angry because her new diet was kicking in and she had a bunch of clothes to fold and put away following our trip to Disney.

The kids were noisy and restless and I felt sorry for the old girl. So I cleared the house. I told the kids to wash up, get their electronics and pile into the car. We were going out to dinner and clearing the house. So on a Saturday night my date was B and Celine as we went to Pizzeria Biga in Southfield.

Everybody won. The kids got pasta, I got pizza and Abs got peace of mind. Or was it a piece of her mind back?  When I got home I got a big hug and kiss and she didn’t even have to say a word. We love our kids. We love our wives and husbands but sometimes we need time alone. I get that way sometimes and I could tell Abs was having one of those moments.

The only noise you want to hear in the house is that of the air conditioning. Families rarely get that peace of mind because we are so busy. There are school and practice drop offs, help with homework, dinner plans, play dates and vacations. Sometimes it is as if our lives are traveling at 80 miles per hour. We are on the wild mouse.