Last weekend we had a hair weave emergency at our house, something we haven’t had in a long time.
Hair weave emergencies are nothing to joke about. When they happen you must take swift action. I sent out the hair weave emergency to every black woman I know and they knew to call back immediately.
Here is what happened. We hosted my sister-in-law Big Pretty and her husband to be for their wedding luncheon at Bravo in Livonia. Big Pretty flew in from Texas and every trip she makes turns into an adventure. She was supposed to get her hair tightened at Miss Cybills the day before the shower after picking her man up at the airport.
But she forgot Miss Cybill’s address and phone number. My wife Abs was at a function and was not answering her phone Saturday afternoon. Big Pretty’s hair looked like a bird’s nest and she needed her wig busted. She called in a panic, wanting to know if I knew somebody. I told her I do not have hair stylists on speed dial but I would do what I could.
I texted and called my girls Kelly, Sandra, Jemele and Tatiana.
“I got a hair weave emergency. I need you to call back as soon as you can.”
“Oh my God,” Kelly said.
“I got back as soon as I could. I knew this was serious,” Tatiana said.
“I got you covered T Foss. Here are some names,” Sandra said.
Within 20 minutes they’d lined up Miss Vicki, Miss Ming and Miss Ellie. I don’t know why everybody was Miss something, I just wanted to make sure the luncheon did not feature the bride of Frankenstein.
Hair weaves and nice hair are very important in the black community, especially on the weekend. You got parties, luncheons and bar nights to worry about and to look nice for. That is one reason why you have 24 hour shops around Detroit That is why my girls snapped to attention when I told them about our plight.
There is a hilarius documentary hosted by comedian Chris Rock that chronicles the importance of fake hair in the black community. It is a multi-billion dollar industry and most of the hair comes from Indiana and Asia. One of the funnier scenes was when Rock tried to sell black hair to weave shops and they looked at him like he was crazy.
Any way we got the weave in and Big Pretty looked nice for the luncheon.
“When was the last time you had one of these,” one of my girls asked.
“It’s been a while,” I said. “And I don’t want any more any time soon.”