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The morning I became garbage collection guy

Written By: Terry Foster | August 12, 2011

Filed Under: Life, Opinion

Just call me garbage guy

This isn’t something I am proud of, but the other day I became garbage guy.

You know who that is. That is the guy that scouts trash day to see what items they want to scoop up for their own home.  Our trash collection day is Thursday and Wednesday night cars and trucks cruise my neighborhood looking for things to take home. Over the years they’ve taken old computers, children’s clothes and bikes and other things we don’t want.

They pick them up to use, fix up or sell. It is a weekly tradition. If you put something of value out on a Wednesday chances are it is gone before the trash collection the following morning.

I became that guy and was not proud of it. But I was not looking for old clothes or toys. I saw a perfectly sawed and neatly stacked pile of wood in front of two houses. I have a fire pit and love building fire with the children and neighbors. We often go back there at night and shoot the breeze before turning in.

My pile of wood should last me the rest of the summer but I am getting a little low. So I got in the truck at 3 in the morning to get my wood. I wanted to make sure traffic was down and I did not want people to see me cruising on trash collection day.

That is not cool. But guess what? Both piles were gone and my early morning cruise left me empty handed and mad. How could some dirty SOB beat me to the punch?

I was mad and I was so embarrassed that I lied to my wife.

“Did you go somewhere late last night,” she asked.

“Oh no,” I lied. “We left the garage door open. I just went down to close it.”

You see, it is difficult to admit you are garbage guy even when you are looking for wood.

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