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Why Mike Valenti must die

Written By: Terry Foster | July 20, 2011

Filed Under: Opinion, Red Wings

I cannot put into words how much I hate this man

So I am hanging out in Southgate, trying to figure out which Downriver beauty to add to my collection when my phone begins to blow up with texts. I ignored it. I had to get my swerve on after all.

Now should I get with butter face number one? Or should I get with butter face number two? You know the chick with the chipped front tooth is kind of turning me on.

Well, the texts would not stop. So I finally launched my twitter account this morning and I read all of your asinine comments about how I changed my mind about Chris Osgood. Then I heard about comments from my radio partner who has way too much time on his hands talking about how I flip flopped on whether Osgood should be in the Hockey Hall of Fame.

You guys clowned me. Mike Valenti of course clowned me because he is jealous and wants to be me. And who can blame him? I am handsome. He is not. I am a lady’s man. He is not. I am black and he wishes he was.

Ten is a special number for me. Four is a number for his special friend that he calls Bruno.

OK. He can name the entire Duke football roster, including back ups. I cannot. He can give you a run down of each of Derek Jeter’s 3,000 hits. I cannot. He’s got me there. I never said I was pitching a shut out in life against dear ol’ Mike.

But the joke is on you and you guys fell into an ugly trap that pisses me off about my business. Most of you read headlines and do not read columns and stories. I blame that on McDonald’s who has turned us into a Mc Society.  We Mc skim and do not read. I clearly stated Osgood by himself is not a Hall of Fame goalie.  His performance does not support it. The fact that the Red Wings kept looking for his replacement does not support it.

I even call him an ordinary goalie. However, this is a team award. And Osgood will go in because he plays for a superior team. He becomes extraordinary because of the team.  I have acknowedged that on the radio. I give. The 400 wins do not lie. The three Stanley Cups do not lie. And the two Cups he won on his own do not lie.

Osgood becomes a Hall of Fame goalie because of the team in front of him and the fans that back him. I’ve said that several times. I do not necessaryly agree with it but I’ve come to grips with it. He is a Hall of Fame goalie and there is nothing I or anyone can do about it. He might not get in on the first ballot but he will get in.

In defense of my turn coat listeners, one line was sliced from the column. I said something to the effect that when Osgood accepts his award he should thank the entire Red Wings organization because this is not his award alone.

I forgive you for you are my children and you know not what you do. You follow the mad man because he is good at what he does. He could lead some of you off a 1,000 foot drop and you would hold your hands up and scream in delight as you fall to your death.

But Mike should be ashamed of himself for reading the headline and not the column. That is being a lazy talk show host.  Come on 971 The Ticket. How can you let this happen? This is amateur radio. This high school Harry stuff needs to stop.

Mike needs to watch himself. He is becoming the Drew Sharp of radio.

How come management didn’t run into the studio and shut his microphone off and tell him to read the entire column?

This jerk ruined my day. My Downriver honeys were so upset that I had to go spend the evening with my family. And Mike knows that is the last place I want to be.

And one more thing for you twitter geeks that take things too seriously.

LOL.

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24 Responses to “Why Mike Valenti must die”

  1. Jenn Says:

    ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha – You crack me up! Loved it!

    Reply

  2. jon Says:

    Go watch some more royal weddings u baby

    Lol jk. You’ll get him Foster. And I can’t wait to listen to that exchange. Makes you guys the best in RRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAADIO!!!

    Reply

  3. Jordan Says:

    Awesome… We still love you Ter

    Reply

    • Terry Foster Says:

      Thank you and boombaye

      Reply

      • Giada Says:

        hi, Sabrina, I read your book as I always like to read new aorhuts & Dante certainly was cold at the outset of the story. That created a lot of tension in the story & kept me going.My home would have to have oak, cedar, & so on certain trees & plenty of wildlife. In fact if I ever came into tons of money, I’d still live near a forest. My earliest yrs were spent with my dad explaining plants/animals to me & its in my deepest most cherished memories.I think some people are grounded in their earliest environments & go back to where they started & love what they experienced as kids even if there were some negative events in that place.Good luck with your writing on the new book.

        Reply

  4. Ron Marshall Says:

    Bravo!

    Reply

  5. Sink Says:

    I had no idea he’d get you this fired up Terry. You guys crack me up!

    Reply

  6. lawrence Says:

    This is hilarious Terry, way to get this joker back for ragging on you all the time.

    Reply

  7. jordan Says:

    You know that the more angry you get, the better the radio. Mike is a guy that I love to listen to, but I don’t think I would want to be in the same room with. He insights reactions because he knows what makes good radio. Love the show. Keep on keeping on. Put up the good fight.

    Reply

    • Terry Foster Says:

      Jordan. You do want to be in the same room with him when Mike goes off. I sometimes can’t do the show because I am laughing so much. You guys just get the voice and the passion. I get the face and the body language. We need to be a reality show. Well maybe Mike does. Leave me out of it.
      T Foster

      Reply

      • Joe Says:

        Terry how can you work with Jim Rome wannabe Valenti??? You are the heart and soul of that program. My office changes the dial on the radio at 2 pm because no one can stand your partner. We all love Matt Diery when he is on the air with you.

        Reply

  8. BID316 Says:

    Ya know, I missed the Twitter-bashing of T-False! Irrespective of the inspiration and/or necessity and application, some of them are HILARIOUS!!

    Reply

  9. Mike Says:

    Sorry your night downriver was ruined. Great comment about Mc Society, so true.

    Reply

  10. Mike Says:

    By the way I love the downriver jokes, born and raised in lovely Brownstown Twp. They never get old. If you can’t laugh at yourself… Great work Terry

    Reply

  11. Bill Says:

    Come on Terry we don’t want to see Mike die.I could live with sewing his big mouth shut until football seasons over instead

    Reply

  12. Ryan Says:

    Mike is only 30..that is unreal. Me thinks he could really make it nationally as a radio guy. What do you think Terry?

    Great radio show…keep it up.

    Reply

    • Terry Foster Says:

      Please never tell Mike I said this because I do not want his head to swell. But he is a very talented radio guy. I know some people don’t like him but he executes the show very well. He knows what he is talking about and is fun to listen to and it is fun to do a show with him.
      Now if you repeat this to him and swell his fat head I will deny every word. Or I might pull the Charles Barkley and say I was misquoted in my own blog.
      - T Foster

      Reply

  13. Terrell Wilson Says:

    Come on Terry I know you can’t call your radio partner a MORON! but you know that guy is a completeasshole!

    Reply

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