So I am hanging out in Southgate, trying to figure out which Downriver beauty to add to my collection when my phone begins to blow up with texts. I ignored it. I had to get my swerve on after all.
Now should I get with butter face number one? Or should I get with butter face number two? You know the chick with the chipped front tooth is kind of turning me on.
Well, the texts would not stop. So I finally launched my twitter account this morning and I read all of your asinine comments about how I changed my mind about Chris Osgood. Then I heard about comments from my radio partner who has way too much time on his hands talking about how I flip flopped on whether Osgood should be in the Hockey Hall of Fame.
You guys clowned me. Mike Valenti of course clowned me because he is jealous and wants to be me. And who can blame him? I am handsome. He is not. I am a lady’s man. He is not. I am black and he wishes he was.
Ten is a special number for me. Four is a number for his special friend that he calls Bruno.
OK. He can name the entire Duke football roster, including back ups. I cannot. He can give you a run down of each of Derek Jeter’s 3,000 hits. I cannot. He’s got me there. I never said I was pitching a shut out in life against dear ol’ Mike.
But the joke is on you and you guys fell into an ugly trap that pisses me off about my business. Most of you read headlines and do not read columns and stories. I blame that on McDonald’s who has turned us into a Mc Society. We Mc skim and do not read. I clearly stated Osgood by himself is not a Hall of Fame goalie. His performance does not support it. The fact that the Red Wings kept looking for his replacement does not support it.
I even call him an ordinary goalie. However, this is a team award. And Osgood will go in because he plays for a superior team. He becomes extraordinary because of the team. I have acknowedged that on the radio. I give. The 400 wins do not lie. The three Stanley Cups do not lie. And the two Cups he won on his own do not lie.
Osgood becomes a Hall of Fame goalie because of the team in front of him and the fans that back him. I’ve said that several times. I do not necessaryly agree with it but I’ve come to grips with it. He is a Hall of Fame goalie and there is nothing I or anyone can do about it. He might not get in on the first ballot but he will get in.
In defense of my turn coat listeners, one line was sliced from the column. I said something to the effect that when Osgood accepts his award he should thank the entire Red Wings organization because this is not his award alone.
I forgive you for you are my children and you know not what you do. You follow the mad man because he is good at what he does. He could lead some of you off a 1,000 foot drop and you would hold your hands up and scream in delight as you fall to your death.
But Mike should be ashamed of himself for reading the headline and not the column. That is being a lazy talk show host. Come on 971 The Ticket. How can you let this happen? This is amateur radio. This high school Harry stuff needs to stop.
Mike needs to watch himself. He is becoming the Drew Sharp of radio.
How come management didn’t run into the studio and shut his microphone off and tell him to read the entire column?
This jerk ruined my day. My Downriver honeys were so upset that I had to go spend the evening with my family. And Mike knows that is the last place I want to be.
And one more thing for you twitter geeks that take things too seriously.