Las Vegas — I was told the best pancakes in the world are at the Golden Gate Hotel and Casino downtown at Du-Pars restaurant. Esquire Magazine said these were the best in the land so I needed to try them before skipping down. I got the Las Vegas stack which was impossible for me to eat. These were three of the largest pancakes I’ve ever seen.
These pancakes were bad ass. They had just a little crunch, were soft on the inside and they were golden brown as if they were in a commercial. Do you know how every sandwich looks perfect in television commercial? This is what these babies looked like. On the walk there from the D Casino I noticed homeless people begging for food.
So I said one of these people is going to be treated to the best pancakes in the world,
I approached an elder woman who was filthy. She had cuts on her face, wore awful looking clothes and I smelled stench as I got close. I was just about to hand her the best pancakes in the world when she launched into this profanity-laced tirade.
“You bleeping scum. I hope you bleeping die. I want to grab you by the face and make you eat the garbage off the street you bleep.”
I really believed if I handed her the box I would be wearing the best pancakes in the world. I thought about it later. She probably had mental problems and I should have given her the stack any way and taken my chances. A few minutes later a guy was poking through trash cans looking for something to eat. He had a long dusty beard and he was dirtier than my girl who cussed me out.
“Are you hungry,” I asked.
“I sure am,” he said.
“Well sir I have the best pancakes in the world in this box. Enjoy.”
“Thank you very much kind sir.”
In a matter of two minutes the best pancakes in the world were gone.
I ask that if you go dinner and cannot finish it, box it and give it to a homeless person even if they are not the best pancakes in the world.