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Switching soccer teams is a tearful affair

Written By: Terry Foster | June 11, 2012

Filed Under: Family, Life, Parenthood

I am the big, bad mean guy. At least that is what my daughter Celine thinks of me now.

She is sort of not talking to me but at the same time she does talk to me when she forgets why she is mad at me.

My transgression is I am considering moving her to a different soccer team after five years with the Bloomfield Hills Force. She was in favor of the move during the season. We’d all grown frustrated and wanted to try something new. Moving to a new team is easy but at the same time it is not.

The way it works in soccer is you practice with a team you are interested in playing for. This week Celine will practice with the Michigan Jaguars in Novi and Waza East in Rochester.  It is like going to the bar to pick up girls. You go there and practice. Do you like them? Do they like you?

Saturday and Sunday are tryout days and they are usually stressful for most people.

If it is a match you hook up and become a team for a year. If they don’t like you then you move on to the next club.

I’ve moved my son Brandon a couple of times and it was no big deal. Celine is a different story. She cried after her last game Sunday and in turn so did I. I have a difficult time moving on from something even if I think it is the right thing to do. I grabbed a couple of parents and asked that their daughters remain friends with Celine.

At lot runs through your mind when you are considering leaving. Celine has met a bunch of good friends, won some tournaments, got blown out of others and we had some eventful road trips to Kentucky, Indiana, Ohio and Michigan. Celine was even part of a 3v3 team that advanced to nationals and finished 16 in the nation in her age group.

And there has been trips to the apple orchard, the pool and sleep overs galore. So why move? I want her to be challenged more. Celine is a good soccer player that got stale this season. Part of it was a foot injury that took her out for two months. And part of it is she is becoming a dead teenager that does not want to leave her room. If you let her she’d spend the entire day in her room on the phone and kicking a soccer ball off the wall.

She is also tiny and is playing an age group up. She will be 12 and later 13 years old playing with girls who are 14 and 15. Celine plays like a maniac sometimes and does not back down. My fear is injuries will hamper her against bigger and older girls. I want her back in her age group.

I believe she needs a shake up. And I believe she will be around more talented players and good coaching.

But could I be wrong?

I am sure you guys have had to make tough decisions for your kids. Do you ever feel like you are doing the wrong thing although deep down you believe it is the right thing?



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5 Responses to “Switching soccer teams is a tearful affair”

  1. John R. Whipple Says:

    I have a daughter who went through the club soccer system. I could give my opinion overthe phone if you want or email back and will give more details 1 248 515 0361 I have coached and played soccer for years. I am retired from the game. Now but still follow


  2. Dan Says:

    My daughter has been at the same soccer crossroads. Celine is a very good player. My daughters Canton Celtic team has played against her when she was brought up for a game last fall. True she is small, but very skilled.
    You want your daughter to have the best training you can find, but her feelings of acceptance on the team is the most important. Celine is at the age now where peer pressure and feeling accepted will have the biggest affect on her wanting to even go to practice. If she is having fun with the team her willingness to improve her game will continue to grow.
    This was my daughters first year on her U14 team. They came in first place in their division. She did very well. But, her bubbly personality on this team completely changed from her last team. Why because she felt as if she didn’t fit in with the girls that have played together for the last 4 years. Now she wants to take a step backward to play with her friends.
    Celine has greater potential than my daughter, and I understand you want her to be with the best. But as she enters her teenage years, don’t you want to keep that happy smile on her face. The next one or two years will affect how she looks at her Dad as supportive with warm hugs or as a guy who thinks he always knows best. Trust me this is the second time I’m going down this road with my two daughters.
    With her skills, she will get noticed. Don’t burn her out. It’s more important that she still wants to put on her cleats with a smile.


    • Terry Foster Says:

      Here is one of the problems. Celine is always changing her mind. She was frustrated with the team and wanted better. She did not like losing and felt she got stale. But once we went from talking about it stage to action then she got cold feet. She wants to stay with her old club but then she doesn’t want to stay with her old club. It all depends on how the wind is blowing that day.
      – T Foster


  3. BJ Says:

    I played with the same club team for 10 years. We only lost maybe 10 games in that span. Finally, my senior year of high school I moved to a Little Ceasars Illitch club. I missed my old teamates and friends but my only regret was I waited so long. I needed to challenged earlier. I think my soccer “career” suffered in the long term for waiting. Time will only tell if the move was right, but don’t kill yourself about it.


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